Sharon&Andy
by Stands With A Fic - Camima
Summary: One of the ways I imagine Shandy to happen...
1. EPIPHANIES Chapter 1

**EPIPHANIES**

**by Stands With a Fic- Camima**

**Chapter 1**

Can't wait for Major Crimes season3.

One of my fantasies involving Sharon and Andy, my first one put into writing. No rate M yet but I will be no teaser. Promise.:)

'_How is this possible?! How? And why me? Why _her_? Why now?_' Andy couldn't help but wonder. Suddenly, Andy realized what had been wrong with him these last few months - he had been feeling irritated and uneasy, with no real reason as to why. He'd checked his blood pressure – it was fine. He hadn't been able to sleep, much less eat properly. It had gotten to the point that even Provenza had noticed. Provenza, who knew Andy more than Andy himself, and had been watching him act oddly these last few weeks – knowing full well what Andy's problem was, but waiting for him to figure it out for himself. When Provenza had asked him what was wrong; he couldn't even come up with a plausible answer!

From the very beginning of Andy's intimacy with the Captain, his best friend had tried to warn him off; hinting heavily at where this relationship could potentially lead. Andy had rejected the thought that his friendship with Captain Raydor could possibly lead to unexpected effects. In fact, he saw nothing wrong with calling the Captain by her given name – Sharon - or relying on her support both personally and professionally.

After three weeks of feeling upset, Andy was walking down the corridor leading to the elevator on Major Crimes' floor, attempting to hush his wandering thoughts. He had forgotten his cellphone in his car, _idiot_, and was going back to the parking lot to fetch it. The elevator doors opened, and Andy was looking at the pavement as if the answers to his questions lay there. He lifted his eyes and his heart thumped in his chest at the sight of _her_. Sharon Raydor. Even with her arms hugging a bunch of files and her glasses perched on the bridge of her nose, she still managed to look _stunning_. Her face immediately changed from focused to shining with a wide smile at the sight of him.

"Good morning Andy!" she said cheerfully.

After a moment of hesitation, she entered the corridor slowly, moving by his side carefully so as not to crash into Andy. Her smile faded, and she pressed her lips inwards as her eyes widened and her eyebrows rose quizzically. He hadn't moved to allow her to pass, he hadn't spoken a word to greet her – instead, he had just stood there as if he were stoned.

"Andy...are you alright?" she asked, her eyes intense and showing concern.

"Oh...well, sure, I'm sorry Sharon" he replied with an awkward grin. He could feel that she knew that he wasn't entirely okay, and cursed his expressions for making it more obvious, "Good morning, Sharon," he added.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah absolutely," he replied grinning. The elevator doors were about to close but he blocked them, "I forgot my cell in my car," Andy said rolling his eyes, "I'll be back soon".

She looked at him from over the brim of her glasses, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing slightly. She tilted her head slightly to the side, and her expression seemed to say _I'm not sure that you_ are _okay._ "See you then" she said, smiling at him suspiciously.

She turned and headed towards her office. Andy suddenly felt uneasy as he watched her leave. Mentally, he berated himself for the way he had acted – he could've been nicer to her or talked to her for longer. Instead, he gazed at her thick hair, waving and dangling slightly above her shoulders. Listening raptly to the rhythm of her steps, he watched her hips swinging gently but with subtle energy, her dress caressing and revealing the shape of her bottom and the hem of her skirt offering him the sight of her God-given, finely molded legs. Suddenly it all became clear - he realized what he had been chasing for weeks through his meandering thoughts. He finally allowed himself to see his issue. He felt like stopping time, and his heart beats accelerated. Entering the elevator, he pushed the button repeatedly, so as to feel that he had control over that, at least. Feeling as though his body were floating, he put his back against the wall, lifting his chin whilst looking at the neon lights above him, mouth open.

"It can't be...no, no it can't!" he murmured.

Sharon saw him returning and sitting at his desk. He deliberately avoided looking at her through the open blinds, and after shooting her an upset look he immediately looked away. He was now sitting with his back turned to her, and she could practically feel his rigidity. Normally, he would sit in an almost-side position, so as to allow himself both eye-contact and a good view of her. Sharon had often surprised him staring every once in a while, and then breaking off his attention by winking or grinning at her. This morning, however, her office could have been empty. Provenza knocked lightly at her door.

"Yes?"

"Captain" he said, entering the office and shutting the door.

"Good morning Lieutenant..." she straightened her back, indicating a chair before her desk and said, "oh please..." Her hand was palm up and she leaned back into her chair again, her fingers slightly entwined on her lap and her legs crossed. Provenza made himself comfortable in the chair in front of the Captain, and glancing at her, he realized that her eyes were still on Andy's back. From the angle of her lips visible to him, she was also definitely pouting. "I met Andy this morning on my arrival and I found him...strange" Sharon said cautiously, pondering the word in a soft voice "I asked him if he was ok, and he hesitated to say that he was. I don't want to be indiscreet but...uh, I would be glad to know if there is anything you think I should know, or any suggestions you could give, as to how I could help him," Sharon said in her soft and thoughtful voice, still looking at Andy's back. Her eyebrows contracted before turning to face Provenza's first surprised and then nodding features.

'_Sure there is' _he thought_._ "Captain," he cleared histhroat, "Might as well come out with it, I did ask him myself, but he said that even he can't figure it out," he paused shrugging. His lips pursed as his eyebrows rose, "but you don't need to be a psychic to tell how uneasy and upset he is." Provenza paused and looked at Sharon's tense face - still looking at Andy - "maybe you could talk to him. I mean, it's worth trying, and he can't get any worse," he continued, waving a hand before him and contracting his eyebrows in concern. '_Or_ _maybe he_ _will, but it's high time you two stopped being in denial and faced whatever it is that's been eating at the two of you,' _he thought.

"Thank you Lieutenant," Sharon sighed, smiling weakly with concern visible in her eyes. She would have preferred to have something concrete to deal with. "You may go," she said, with a tone of finality. Provenza nodded his head slightly, his eyes saying _for what,_ pursing his lips as he exited her office.

It was 8 pm, and everybody had left for the day. Andy stood in the empty murder room, collecting his gun, badge and cell. He threw a look at Sharon through the open blinds of her office and she looked up at him, feeling the weight of his stare. '_Andy, you idiot! You avoided her all day, as if it was her fault that you_ _can't help the way you think. You can't avoid her forever! She is your boss and she is your friend and_ _she doesn't deserve to be treated_ _like this!' _His mind screamed at him. Sharon smiled at him, her eyes showing tender concern. They seemed to ask him, '_what's wrong Andy? You know you can tell me anything you want, feel or need, but it's in your hands to reach out to me'. _Her stare made his heart ache and his gaze softened at the sight of it, his dark thick eyes became sweeter and brighter '_Oh my God what will I do with you now, Sharon? I don't wanna lose you, and I don't wanna push you away, but how can I stay so close to you every day? If I avoid you, I'll feel bad and I'll miss you, and I don't wanna treat you like this. I__just have to pretend that everything is as it was. That nothing ever happened.' _Sharon was now standing right behind the glass wall of her office, holding his gaze. He glanced appreciatively at Sharon's body before meeting her eyes again: how could he resist the impulse to enter her office and grab her by her shoulders? To pull her into him, holding her tight and begging her to forgive him because he didn't mean it, he hadn't planned for it and he felt like this was a betrayal of her friendship. Ultimately, he couldn't help himself. It had taken root inside of him, slowly and deeply taking control of his mind and body. Only in that moment did he realize that it had always been like this. He had fought her - yelled at her because she was too intelligent, too right, too gorgeous, and too hot for him. It had been easy to pretend to hate her when she was the enemy from FID, but then she became a part of his team – his boss, in fact. Slowly but surely, she had revealed more of herself to them, to him. Captain Raydor had turned into Sharon, taking over his eyes and heart. She had stopped being the Wicked Witch or Rulebook Raydor, and she had become Sharon - sweet, sensitive, tender and funny Sharon. Just Sharon. _Sharon… _the mere sound of her name made him melt inside. Like a lover's whisper in his ear, or heated breath against feverish lips - a light breeze in L.A.'s scorching days. _Sharon. _

His gaze returned to her eyes, and he took a step towards her as she remained standing behind the glass wall. She lifted her right hand open and pressed it against the transparent wall at chest level, where his heart was, and smiled at him bitterly. Her jade stare met his eyes across the glass paneling. He couldn't bear seeing her like this, especially when it was his fault. He drew nearer to the wall and smiled fondly at her, reaching towards her smaller hand with his right hand, pressing it gently against hers. He was grateful for the fact that there was an invisible, and yet perfectly tangible division between them. Grateful, and yet entirely miserable. It was ironic. Their current positions mimicked the position of their relationship. They were both as equally committed to staying together – to reaching out to one another in any way possible – but it was impossible. An invisible barrier (or several) had made sure of that. She is his Captain, and he her Lieutenant. She is a married woman – and a Catholic, to boot – and he is a divorcee who wants her as more than just a friend, but as a lover. As his woman - his everything. He yearned for her romantically, and she merely enjoyed his friendship. He loved her, and this would have parted them forever. He had to be strong and hide his feelings for her and from her. He loved her and never wanted to hurt or upset her for any reason. He would remain her friend, and that would be enough so long as she was content. It would be enough, if she allowed him to stay with her. Sharon tilted her head, her eyes so warm and friendly that it almost hurt him, inviting him to join her. His mouth opened as though he were going to say something, his eyebrows rising questioningly. He was trying to make up his mind, dwelling on the surprise of her unexpected invitation. She shrugged, smiling and encouraging him. Her head nodded once, and her eyes indicated the door. His face relaxed and his free arm opened his hand palm up, and he acquiesced with a nod of his head. He entered her office and she stood in front of him, smiling. She leaned against the edge of her desk, legs almost completely outstretched. Her toes were turned inward ever so slightly, and her arms were carefully folded beneath her breasts. He drew nearer and stopped in front of her, his feet an inch from hers. He could feel the chair behind him graze his calves and he looked at her almost passively, with his hands in his pants pockets - forbidding them from moving towards her. Shoulders contracting inwards, he could hardly help himself from swallowing hard as he looked at her. As he drank in every facet of her appearance – tracing her jaw and neck, down to where her collar bones peered out of her aquamarine dress. His eyes continued their downwards journey across her skin where it was uncovered by her dress, to meet the hint of her breasts. He swallowed hard again and obliged his eyes to look away from her. He looked at his shoes but still couldn't find any relief! His eyes met her toes, ankles, calves and knees. He drew a deep breath.

"Andy?" her voice called his name so softly and warmly, and he shivered. "Andy…?" she put her hands on his arms, shaking him slightly. "What's wrong with you? I'm beginning to grow concerned, seeing you like this," she hesitated "it scares me," she finally admitted, her soft voice not matching the burden showing through her eyes. Andy saw his hands reaching towards her and Sharon offering him a tender smile. Grazing her neck, jaw and finally lips, Andy's hand seemed to move by itself, and he was powerless to stop it. Sharon's eyes widened, an awkward expression painting her face. He froze, and Sharon saw disappointment burning in his eyes. He closed his eyes for an instant, then took her hands in his and looked her steadily in the eye, and he could instantly tell that she had also figured out the cause of his bizarre behavior. How could she help him now? Feeling lost, she remained there, looking at him. Her eyes stung with tears, and his sweet shining brown eyes turned downwards at her reaction, darkening with sadness. Suddenly she started sobbing, tears streaming from her eyes. Glancing at him, she watched as he became blurred out of focus, yet held steadfastly to her hands. Andy had expected her to push him away – to grow stiff and awkward before assuming her professional tone to leave the friendly one, maybe. Quite possibly, Andy had expected the Captain to plead with him, begging him to understand that she is a married woman – not to mention his Captain. Basically, Andy had expected anything but seeing her burst into tears, vulnerable and desperate, her body shaking with sobs. His heart sank.

"Sharon? Sharon...oh I'm so sorry. Sharon, please look at me, don't cry. I'm an idiot." He pulled her into him and held her tight, his arms completely wrapping around her shaking frame, attempting to prevent the onset of further sobbing. A hand held her head from behind, and she pressed her face flush against his pectoral arms folded against his chest, with her hands desperately clutching his shirt. He shushed her gently, rubbing her back in sweeping motions as her sobs began to subside.

"Oh Andy..." she said, her cheek against his pectoral "I'm so sorry," her voice broken again by a new wave of tears. Andy lifted her chin with the tips of his fingers and looked at her. Her make-up had melted away on to his shirt, her face damp with tears.

''Listen, Sharon; there is nothing you have to feel sorry for. I have upset you, and I'm an absolute idiot," he assured her, gazing at her fondly. She was so tiny against him, her body abandoned into his, and her green eyes wandering around the room. Sharon put her head back into his chest with a sigh. He thought that he could stay like this forever, with Sharon in his arms joint with him in body and soul. Her soft hair tickled his neck and chin, and her scent – the scent of her skin mixed with her perfume – was distinct and powerful, like the woman herself. He felt the silky touch of her forehead against his neck, and understood he would do anything to make her happy - to see her smiling and laughing again. What he felt didn't matter. He pulled away ever so slightly, and lifted her chin gently with his forefinger. Removing her glasses and placing them on the desk, he took his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped her face. She smiled at him, bitterness filling her eyes, and seeing this, he kissed her forehead and eyelids, doing anything to take away her pain.

"Andy we must talk about this, about your...feelings," Sharon said with a calm voice, despite her general demeanor. She glared at the chair behind Andy, pushing against his chest slightly. Andy sat, and Sharon drew her chair nearer to his and sat down so as to get a better look at Andy's face.

He turned his chair to face her, "Sharon," he leaned towards her, entwining his fingers with his elbows on his knees, and looked up at her. "What do you wanna hear me say?" he asked, letting out a sigh.

"Andy, I want you to be completely honest," she replied, watching as he swallowed hard. He drew in a deep breath and then let it out.

"Sharon I-I think I'm…in love with you," his spoke with a low, warm and rough voice, affected by the whirlpool of his emotions. He glanced at her, almost as if to say, '_simple as that, really'. _Sharon didn't turn her eyes from his but swallowed hard. Her arms left the armrests to wrap around her body, and a hand reached up to her neck and lay there.

"Andy how..."

"How do I know?" he read her mind. She nodded. "Sharon...have you ever been in love?"

She had been in love once, but it had been so long ago. He smiled at her tenderly and thoughtfully. Should he tell her all the things that made him fall for her? What would be the point? To increase her caching sorrow? To strengthen his yearning for her? Sharon leaned forward towards him. He glimpsed her breasts in the nude lace bra she wore beneath the neckline of her dress and the sight made inhale sharply.

"Andy, what will we do now? How will we deal with this new… situation? How can I help you? Can – is it possible for me to help you?" He could tell that she really wanted to figure this situation out, not only for professional reasons, but also to sustain their close friendship.

"Sharon, I will be fine. You are my captain and my friend and these are the facts that really matter. I've just gotta take it one step at time."

"Andy," she looked him dead in the eye, "Whatever you need I am here for you. But… if it is too hard for you to deal with- well, with me…" she stopped, swallowing hard, her voice breaking. Andy reached out for her hands and pulled her into a hug, his inner thighs against her outer ones, his hands rubbing her back up and down "Andy I don't want to lose your friendship! You are a dear friend, and I can't bear the idea that I am the reason you feel this bad," Her voice was soft and tearful in his ear. She embraced him closely, with her chin on his shoulder, her cheek against his neck and her arms circled around his shoulders.

"That's not gonna happen Sharon, you will not lose me. I will always be there for you - with you," He said firmly, pulling slightly away from her and looking into her eyes, and tucking her hair behind her ear. She looked as though she was guilty – like she was sorry for him, and ultimately sorry that she was his issue. He had to work with her and she was asking him to remain friends, accepting his hugs. She wasn't used to feeling neither guilty nor selfish. All her life ruled by rules and laws - solid moral principles to lead her life. Despite the cold hard side she could display when needed, she had always lived her life for others, to help, accept, understand… basically, to protect and serve. Now she could do nothing for her lieutenant and friend not only because she was the cause of his troubles, but also because she needed him as her friend. This revelation upset her almost as much as Andy's. She suddenly became aware of this need and was finding it difficult to deal with.

Sharon flipped the light off in her office. It was 9 pm, and Rusty was having a pizza Friday at Provenza's. She was grateful to Provenza for spending time with Rusty, but tonight, she was mostly grateful for the fact that she wouldn't have to explain why she had cried her make-up away. Andy closed her office door behind them carrying Sharon's bag over his shoulder. They made their way to the elevator in silence, walking side by side, both of them thinking of their new awareness. They entered the elevator and Andy caught her looking at him thoughtfully, but not with bitterness anymore. Instead, a new light had entered her eyes. She could only bear his gaze for a little while before turning her eyes away, blushing slightly. He grinned and thought about how lovely she was. He really loved everything about her, everything from her sweet awkwardness and expressive features, to her big jade eyes – wide open atop cheeks that blush like a young girl's. She was so spontaneous and never naïve, so tender and yet so tough, direct but never rude, so sensible and also sensitive, so stubborn and yet so deferent, so humble and yet determinate, so hot, beautiful and sexy and yet so classy and fine. She was all these things, and more, but the fact that she seemed completely unaware of it is what endeared her to him in the first place. Made her seem simply irresistible.

"Sharon," she looked at him again with a lovely stare nodding '_yes?'_ "What about testing our friendship through dinner?" he winked at her.

"Andy," she was so tired and in need of isolation to find a balance in this new, strange situation. She wanted to go for a long bath and for a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc, but she also didn't want to disappoint him anymore than she already had. He needed a friend by his side - that was obvious - and she happened to be his friend. She felt glad he asked her to stay with him as a friend and she felt reassured by his offer and request. She needed her friend too, and she would not fall asleep easily with thoughts of Andy and herself. Seeing Andy's hope for an affirmative answer fade away from his eyes she hastened to reply, "I think that's a very nice idea, Lieutenant," she replied softly, grinning at him. Andy's eyes lit up again a sparkle from them lit up his smile. He winked boyishly and she giggled in reply. He then pursed his lips slightly, his eyes piercing through hers with overwhelming affection and gratitude.

To AnonimousPebble soul sister and Marygirl!

To Mary McDonnell for the beauty she brings into this World through her life and work and especially for her inner beauty coming from her mind and soul, for giving me Sharon another woman who is inspiring me and helping me through my life.

All my gratitude to James Joyce for revealing us the magic of Epiphanies in our daily lives, in our heart and mind. Wishing for the epiphany of writing...James forgive me I meant no comparison!

Evidently I have a knack on Irish people ;)

Ps: To anonimouspebble, special thanks. Your comment on Cabernet wines pushed me to ask more about them. A wine stewardess at Sweet Wine gave me this information: Cabernet Sauvignon is basically a red wine but there is also Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc ( the one I love! and in my fancy, the one Sharon drinks on tough days). Another red Cabernet Sauvignon is Franc, thinner consistency than Sauvignon.

The reason why I chose Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc as Sharon's favorite wine is that on MC we were shown her drinking white wine. Moreover, during the Reddit AskmeAnything, Mary told us "I'm a Cabernet girl!". I like the idea to have a sort of wine-link between Sharon and Mary.

However, I still have to find out whether Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc is available in L.A. :)


	2. JUST GOOD FRIENDS Chapter 2

**JUST GOOD FRIENDS **

chapter 2

**by Stands With A Fic - Camima**

_**Thanks everyone for the encouraging reviews! To Thegreatshipper: thanks for the lovely review I really appreciate. You completely get my feelings about Sharon and her inner evolution. My main priority is to depict her as realistically as possible. I really love her and need to respect her completely. I already wrote many chapters and more are coming to life :) The writing is completely pouring out of me actually but I'm not an English-native speaker so I need the precious help of my Beta to refine and polish my work before publishing :) Hope you'll enjoy **_

"Are you going to finish that?" asked Andy, looking at Sharon's half eaten pizza. His appetite for her presence had since been whetted by her company, after three weeks of separation.

"Oh, no I'm completely full," Sharon grinned, a hand on her stomach and the other waving meaninglessly in front of her. "Oh! Please!" she added, pushing the dish containing her leftover towards Andy.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Absolutely," she answered, swallowing hard. Her eyes were wide open, and her brow had begun to furrow – in fact, the very idea of another bite had her feeling sick. He bent the half pizza so as to make a sandwich and took a huge bite.

"You're not on a diet, are you?" he asked, after swallowing it down, the high pitch of his voice clearly indicating that he sincerely believed that she didn't need it.

She giggled and said, "No I'm not, I'm just not very hungry," she finished, shrugging. He felt his heart sink "Sharon, are you ok? I mean, you said that you were concerned about me but well…I was just wondering, how about you? I know I've upset you..." he said shaking his head and looking at her with a serious expression.

She let him finish then said, "Andy, if you think you can handle this…situation, I trust you and I'm with you. I can't hide the fact I'm feeling weird about it but, I'm not feeling strange about you," she continued, her voice soft but resolute. "All I ask of you is sincerity, and to allow me to help you, because I'm your friend and I care about you." she said, her eyes watering slightly but her lips curving.

"Thank you Sharon..." he said heartily. "I know I've repeated this every time we've spoken but...I'll owe you one." he said, grinning. She smiled sincerely her stare easier now.

"You don't owe me anything Andy, nothing at all..." She reached for his hands and held them both, squeezing them for a moment while looking straight into his eyes. "Alright then, do you mind if I do the washing?" she asked, standing up.

"Of course not," he answered, "but let me do it anyway," he said finishing off her pizza.

"Oh no, it's nothing really, just two dishes and two glasses. You can make some tea, if you'd like," she suggested, tilting her head so that her chin pointed at the kettle on the counter.

"Sure" he said, grinning. He stood up and plucked the kettle from the counter, taking one quick step towards the basin to fill it with water. In the same instant, Sharon turned towards the basin carrying dishes and glasses. It took a fraction of a second. The kettle, dishes and glasses collided, falling down to the floor and breaking into pieces.

"Oh f- I'm sorry Sharon!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands before him and looking down at the debris on the floor. He then looked up at her. She stood there, astounded, and covered from head to foot in the kettle's contents – a few drops even littering her glasses. Still with her hands in the air –miming the act of carrying – she stopped, still as a statue, with her eyes and mouth wide open.

"Are you alright?" he asked. Then, he saw her eyes get narrower, and her lips press together and curve. A breath rushed from her body, and she suddenly bent down with her hands on her knees, letting out sharp laughter. Slowly, she regained her composure; giggling and pressing her lips together again as she drew herself up to full height. Attempting to prevent any more laughter, she pressed raised a hand to her hip and pressed another to her forehead – shielding her eyes from Andy's stunned expression. Andy roared with laughter at her reaction, and because no laughter could ever be more contagious than hers. He took a step towards her bent figure, and saw her coil down to the floor – her bottom against her heels as her torso and arm were supported by one thigh, the other arm at her forehead again. He bent down and grabbed her by the elbows, pulling her up. She was laughing so hard that she inadvertently leaned towards his chest, and he put his arms around her – holding her with one arm as the other rubbed her back gently, both of them still laughing. He felt overwhelmed by her laughter, by the sound of her voice, by the softness of her skin against his neck and by the shakes of her body into his. His laughter stopped and his eyes closed. He breathed in the scent of her hair and skin. She stopped laughing, realizing that something had changed about Andy. Looking up into his open eyes, she pulled away from him. Her hands left his chest but he reached for them and held them in the space between their bodies. She was looking at him, dreading his actions. Looking at her lips, he slowly breached the distance between them. Then, shifting his gaze back to her eyes, he lifted her hands up to his lips and pressed his lips on the backs of her hands, progressing to her palms. She felt her knees weaken. "Sharon..." he whispered, in a low and warm yet rough voice, "oh Sharon..." he closed his eyes, still holding her hands and brushing her knuckles with his lips once.

She could not move, paralyzed at the sight of him melting for her.

"I can't remember when I last laughed myself away like this. You know…" he hesitated, "I love to see and hear you laughing." he admitted with a fond smile. She felt it clearly. He was in love with her, really. Till the point to be able to show his feelings for her, hug her, hold her and kiss her hands, to be two inches from her lips and yet to not do anything other than tell her how much he loved her laughter. She felt grateful for the genuineness of his feelings and his respect for her. He wanted to stay with her and have her, accepting her and her feelings for him the way they were. If this wasn't love what else could it be? "I'd better get going now," he said, letting his breath out whilst slowly releasing her hands,

"But not before helping you to clean all this mess up," he continued, grinning and shaking his head. Then, looking at her clothes he added "You'd better change, I'll clean."

"Oh no, Andy really." She returned to the world around her, looking down at the ground and at the smashed pieces "it's my fault, I was distracted..." she stopped, looking at him with obvious concern. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't because of his feelings for her – but because of _him_, but she didn't know how.

Andy smiled and said, "Well it's been quite a tough day, hasn't it?" She nodded, her lips curving slightly. "You sure you don't wanna change?" he asked, his eyebrows arching.

"I'm sure," she whispered with a smile. It took them too little time to clean and tidy up. Sharon began to feel strange as the time of his departure drew closer. As Andy threw the last pieces into the garbage, Sharon stood beside him, watching his every move. She surprised herself by looking at his hands; surprised she hadn't noticed them before but as yet still unaware of why she was observing them so closely now. They were big and strong, but also gentle and well-shaped, his nails large. She found Andy looking at her with his arms folded against his chest, his head tilted slightly with a grin painting his face. She looked awkward for a moment, her fingers no more entwined before her lap nor her elbows against her hips. The situation became somewhat awkward, and Sharon instinctively searched for the rim of her blazer to tug on**, **as she would habitually do in this sort of predicament. She had taken it off as soon as she had entered her apartment, and now had to settle for folding her arms over her chest instead. One of her hands now against the point where the jaw meets the ear and the neck, her lips curved.

"So..." Andy spoke after a leaden pause, "what did you think?" he continued "do I pass the test?"

Sharon looked at him, puzzled and trying to find a meaning to Andy's words. Then, realization dawned in her eyes and she grinned widely nodding her head

"Yes," she said, her voice very soft, "of course you do"

"Glad to hear that," he smiled, "So, d'you think there could be other tests that are, you know...like this?" Andy asked, waving his hand in the space between them.

"As a matter of fact Lieutenant, I had a pleasant time tonight. So, if you are trying to obtain information from me as to when we might repeat this _test_, then I must inform you that the only possible answer to your question is, well, whenever you would be willing to," Sharon said, her voice silky and barely audible.

"Well," said Andy, clearing his throat as his eyes widened,"I'd say, the sooner the better, Captain." He smiled brightly at her. "Sharon," his voice was now low and warm again "I really love your company." He drew nearer to her, and put his hands on her arms, pressing his lips softly against her cheek. Her cheek lifted in a smile under his lips.

He took his suit from the coat rack and reached the door, Sharon right behind him. As he opened the door he turned to look into her eyes.

"Goodnight, Sharon," he whispered, winking.

"Goodnight, Andy."

She rubbed her arm while he was entering the corridor. He grinned, turned, and walked away. Watching him walk down the corridor, she jolted as though she had done something inappropriate by doing so. She closed the door and put her back against it, lifting her chin as taking a deep breath.

"Bath," she told herself, and tugging her shirt out of her skirt's high waisted hemline, she slipped off her pumps and walked down the hallway to enter her bathroom. Turning both the hot and cold taps so as to get a nice, warm temperature, she tested the gushing water with her fingertips. When she found the water to be hot enough to suit her taste, she added some bath cream. She heard her cell buzz, and smiled at Rusty's message, '_Sleeping_ _at Provenza's._ _Good night Sharon, Love, Rusty.' _ She hit reply and tapped in, '_Good night, Rusty. Thank Provenza for me. Love you.' _

Sharon pinned her hair up, then took her robe off - letting it fall down to the floor as stepped into the tub. She let her body slide on the tub bottom, her head on a cushion on the edge of the tub, sighing as her body and mind surrendered to the warm, bubbly comfort of the water. Closing her eyes, she heard _The Sugar Plum_ _Fairy_ melody playing in her mind. She remembered the night of the ballet, when Nicole had welcomed her with such affection and Andy had been so thrilled and glad she was with him. She hadn't understood then. Even when he remained stunned by the sight of her, and complimented her for being "gorgeous" - as if he had realized for the first time that she was a woman. And then there were her feelings about him. To her, he was no more than a skilful and bright cop and a dear friend. She cared for him as his Captain, but as his friend, she also wanted to support and be there for him, to be sincere and understanding. He had proved to be able to deal with the situation, and they both were grown-ups in their sixties, they should be perfectly able to deal with each other. If ever there were issues to be discussed, they would do it sincerely and calmly to find the solution.

Then why was she feeling so odd?

Andy couldn't sleep either that night. But he now knew why he had been so uncomfortable, and for the first time in three weeks he had something concrete to focus on. He thought back over the day, allowing the memories of him holding her when crying - and of his shock and her subsequent laughter, her body shaking against his – to fill his mind. He allowed himself to think of her; her eyes, tears, smile, (gorgeous) hair and her scent. Andy took one deep breath and then let it out. Gazing up at his bedroom ceiling in semi-darkness, he promised himself that he would keep the right behavior to face this new situation. Under no circumstances did he want to lose her, even if she did not feel the same way about him. He was not a boy anymore and he was not the man he had been before her friendship. Her friendship and presence in his life had softened his rough, hard side, letting his tender, sensitive and calm side prevail. He smiled at the thought of _his_ Sharon_._

Despite all that had happened, he still felt hopeful of their future together.

_I only want to take it slowly to depict Sharon and Andy the way we know them to be, at least as far as we know them at present, but I don't wanna take it too slowly either. Trust your comments and criticism...all welcome to me._


	3. SONS AND LOVERS Chapter 3 part 1

**SONS AND LOVERS-as nothing is as it seems...**

chapter 3 part 1

**by Stands With A Fic - Camima**

When Andy arrived in the morning, Sharon was already in her office, talking on the phone. Lifting her free hand, she wiggled her fingers slightly, waving at him as he entered the murder room. He tilted his head, curving his lips as he nodded his head once. The look on her face told him that the person she was talking to had captured all of her attention once more. She looked away and turned, giving her back to him with one hand on her hip. Leaning slightly to the side, her leg bore the weight of her body, while the other slightly stretched away from her body. His eyes smiled, lingering on her hair, back and bottom, then glancing towards the backs of her knees, calves and ankles and he let out an appreciative sigh. Provenza watched him and shook his head disbelievingly.

Sharon went to the door, opened it and left her office, walking down the corridor leading to the break room. A huge smile spread over her lips as Andy heard her say "Oh my! I'm so happy...I didn't expect you to come." her voice controlled but barely concealing excitement. He didn't mean to eavesdrop, she was passing by and he just happened to hear her words - but her words had ignited his mind. Who was the person she was talking to that made her so excited? He had a feeling that it wasn't just any person – it was a _man._ Provenza saw him stand up as though he were controlled and followed the Captain at a slower pace, attempting to pass off his curiosity as nonchalance.

The break room door was open and Sharon was pouring herself a cup of tea while giving her back to the door. Andy peered in, and then withdrew minimally, remaining there to listen and all the while thinking '_You know you shouldn't eavesdrop, Andy. You know it's damn wrong, and if she catches you - no, she doesn't even need to catch you - she will read your face. You don't have the right to do this!' _Andy shook his head and turned around, ready to leave.

"Of course I'm excited!" Sharon said her voice silky and bursting with emotion. Andy's body froze as he continued to listen in. "You know how much I miss you! You are the first person I think of when I wake up and the last when I fall asleep."

Andy's body stiffened and he swallowed hard as she continued, "I could never forget your birthday! I wish I could forget mine, but I would never forget yours!" she giggled, her voice fond, "I'll see you tomorrow then...Oh fine, what? Oh sure, honey, of course you can sleep at the condo. Just like old times. Alright, can't wait." she added, her tone softening as she spoke. Andy felt his kick into overdrive, his stomach churning. She was clearly talking to a man! Andy's thoughts raced out of control, '_Ok so...she _is_ a married woman and she _is_ separated, but…does her husband still visit her? Oh my God! He does!' _For the first time Andy realized that he cared if Jack visited Sharon – and actively wondered whether or not his visits extended to more than just breakfast and quarrels. Though separated, they had still been married for more than thirty years. She had told him that she was a married woman when he asked her if Nicole's wedding could be misconstrued as a date. He shook his head at the memory of his question and returned to the present dilemma. '_So she would never cheat on Jackson - unless something happened on or after his last visit. No, no she wouldn't. Well...during his last visit Jack did help her take care of Rusty – and the kid did seem to take a shine to him. I suppose it could've changed things between them. Pretty ironic when you think about it – but it's definitely him. She's seeing her husband again. Maybe they are planning a date for his birthday or something. Maybe they're going to try a fresh start…' _Andy couldn't deny that he should have expected his only possible rival to be good old Jack. To think he used to like him! Now Andy wonders how he could have ever liked him.

The sound of crashing and a scream jolted Andy from his thoughts.

"Andy! You really startled me! What are you doing here?" Sharon asked, her breath heavy. She laid a hand on her chest, eyes wide open, eyebrows contracted, and her voice controlled but a little raised.

"Oh, Sharon!" Andy looked at her white blazer and skirt, wet with tea, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I-I was reaching the break room and, uh, my badge fell off my belt so I bent down to pick it up...' he put a hand against the wall besides him and looked down taking a deep breath "and...You know, I must've stood up too quickly 'cos my, uh, y'know what with my blood pressure and all." Sharon frowned in irritation before relaxing into a more concerned look, her mouth opening, eyes still wide open, and eyebrows rising with concern.

"Oh, Andy come in here. Ok, put your arm around my shoulders, like this," she put one hand on his chest the other between his shoulder blades and slowly walked them into the break room to help Andy sit down.

Tao entered the break room, looking at the smashed tea cup on the threshold. He almost jolted back at the sight of Andy sitting, his head reclined, legs outstretched and spread before him and the captain between them, leaning on him gently whilst loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt.

"Ah, Lieutenant!" Sharon drew up, awkwardness painted across her face, stretching her skirt and blazer. "Lieutenant Flynn is feeling a little dizzy and I was trying to soothe his –"Then she stopped, waving her hand before her. She wasn't doing anything wrong! "Mike would you bring Andy some water, please?" she asked, her voice and expression now kind yet steady.

As if mechanically controlled, Tao started forward to retrieve the water the Captain had asked for, and said, "I'll wipe the floor Captain," he said pointing at the debris on the threshold.

"Oh...if you don't mind - thank you Lieutenant." Sharon smiled kindly and bent over Andy to help him sip some water, "Are you still feeling dizzy Lieutenant?"

"Well..." he choked in a warm rough voice, looking into her too-close eyes, "Though those eyes of yours certainly don't help," he grinned. She pulled back a little, taking a quick breath at Andy's answer. Glancing at Tao collecting the cup pieces from the floor, she leaned forward again and looked back at Andy, her lips curved and her cheeks blushing.

"Seriously?" She looked bemused with his response, yet flattered and – surprisingly – slightly flirty.

"Better," he replied, adding with a swift look at her suit, "just sorry for your clothes." He lowered his voice slightly, eyes returning to hers, "It seems I just can't stop getting you wet lately."

Sharon jolted, blushing violently in shock before looking away. He realized the double entendre of his words _idiot! _His mind froze_. _They were alone again now.

She chose to ignore his words, "Do you think you can stand up and walk now, Lieutenant?" her voice returned to her automatically stiff tone, reminding him that she was a higher ranking officer.

"Yes," his eyes showing he had understood, "thank you, Captain. Of course," he continued, "I'll pay for the laundry."

She saw that he was really sorry, and her stare and tone softened, "that won't be necessary, Lieutenant." He was sorry that he had inadvertently been too daring and had embarrassed her. Remembering that she had a date the next day, he felt his mind aching at the thought of her in Jackson's arms. He was her friend and he should've been happy for her and her marriage, but simply he couldn't. That dope had had her for all of his life. He had taken her whole youth, her maturity, love and devotion – her body, soul, brightness, sweetness and courage– just, everything that is she. For heaven's sake, she bore his children, and Andy had always despised the fact that Jackson took Sharon for granted. Now here she was - ready to give him another chance to break her. Andy stood up, his eyes dim, "As you like, Captain," he saluted, walked by and looked away, missing her soft stare turn bitter.

Sharon entered her apartment, still feeling weird for what had happened between her and Andy earlier that day – whatever it was that had happened. She felt she had been too Pollyannaish in believing he could forget his feelings for her, to push them aside and behave easily. Sharon slipped off her shoes, took off her blazer and headed to the bathroom. She didn't want to push him to talk to her about what had happened. Checking her cellphone, she threw her blazer into the laundry basket, unzipped her skirt and let it puddle around her feet, stepping out of it before throwing it onto the blazer. She checked her cell again. Nothing. Andy had made it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing to do with her for the moment, and while she had to respect his feelings, it hurt her.

The doorbell rang and Sharon quickly took off her top, wondering who might be. It couldn't be Rusty as he was spending the night at Tao's on a movie marathon with Mike's son and enjoying the Spring break. She fetched her robe and put it on, tying it up around her waist. The bell rang again and she ran to the door shouting, "I'm coming!" then stopped and looked into the peephole... _Andy! _Unaware of her lips spreading into a smile, and she attempted to regain a neutral, kind expression as she opened the door.

"Oh, hi Sharon." He glanced at her barefoot frame, clad only in a robe, with untidy hair, no glasses and a generally mussed look. Caught completely off guard, Andy couldn't help but think of just how beautiful she is.

"Hi, Andy," she stiffened when she noticed Andy checking out her body, her arms wrapping around to shield her body from his pupils, expecting him to say "sorry to bother you" or something. Instead, he cleared his throat, tilting his head to the side.

"I was just wondering if – listen, Sharon, I'm sorry"

"Andy," she said, moving aside and gesturing to let him in, trying to set him at ease with a sympathetic smile. "Come in." She watched him enter, his lips pursed, hands in his pockets, chin down. She patted his arm and closed the door. "Excuse me, Andy, but please make yourself home while I put on something more comfortable."

Andy was of the firm opinion that she shouldn't change her clothes, as she was so beautiful in the intimacy of her home and so damn fine but he also knew that that had better remain a thought if he wanted to talk to her as a friend.

Andy was sitting on her couch feeling almost like a little boy when she returned, wearing black leggings and a large pale pink sweater, her hair combed and glasses on as if ready to help him with his homework. She sat down beside him and he smiled bitterly, "I'm sorry," he said.

"I know," she replied, "I am sorry too Andy and I feel the need to apologize to you."

Andy looked at her bewildered, "Sharon! You did nothing wrong! I - I was idiotic!" he looked down at her hands, gently rubbing her quads.

"Andy, I know it's hard for you. And, I must say that if there is someone who behaved idiotically, it was me." Andy was shaking his head - he could not believe what he was hearing. Besides pretending dizziness due to his blood pressure after spying on her, of which she wasn't aware, he had caused her embarrassment and here she was apologizing to him! "I took your friendship for granted, and wanted you to set aside your feelings for me only because it would make me more comfortable – because it was convenient to me. I deliberately shut my eyes to your emotions and reactions because I didn't want to lose your friendship and I didn't want to compromise our professional relationship," she paused and took a quick breath, "I am totally to blame since I didn't behave as an actual friend should, and that is why I'm begging you to forgive me." She looked at him then, her eyes intense as she meant every single word she spoke.

He looked at her, smiling but stunned, "you are not forgiven, Sharon, because there is nothing I have to forgive you for," he paused, truly looking at her, and seeing the outer beauty which suited her inner beauty completely and made it shine more. His stare turned heavy, "Sharon, there are so many things you don't know about me..."

"Then tell me," she replied softly, her inner voice warning her not to push him too far, "But only if you want to. I just, I want you to know I am here for you, Andy," she said her voice so tense and warm.

"I know, and so am I, Sharon," he smiled at her sincerely, "Oh come here!" he said, his eyes shining. He pulled her against his chest, leaning towards her. They remained there for a long time, in silence. His arms wrapped around her, rubbing her back sweetly. Her body huddled against his, her arms against his chest and her head on his shoulder. The feel of her against him was perfect.


	4. SONS AND LOVERS chapter 3, part 2

SONS AND LOVERS chapter 3 part 2

by Stands With A Fic - Camima

The following morning Andy felt much better. At least he had talked to her and they were finally okay again. He didn't sleep very well at the thought of her husband returning to see her, but he had tried to focus on her and her only, resolving to take it one step at the time so as to live as peacefully as possible. He was about to knock on Sharon's office door, holding a cup of tea for her, when he noticed that the blinds were closed.

As the door opened in front of him, he heard, "Really, Sharon, he's such a handsome young man! Congrats! And such a gentleman, too. He only had eyes for you, and anyone can see how much he must have missed you. Well, I'm sorry, but I've really got to go now! Enjoy your dinner and whatever else you're doing tonight! Bye, Sharon!"

"Bye, Erika, and thanks for the lovely brunch!" replied Sharon fondly.

The door opened and a woman in her mid-sixties, white short hair, blue piercing eyes came out. Andy was in shock, his mouth agape. Though frozen at first, his mind had been ignited by the words he had just heard, now echoing incessantly in his mind – "handsome young man…missing her…his eyes only for her…dinner?!"

"Oh, good morning, Lieutenant Flynn," said the woman closing the door, "Are you alright?" she asked, looking at Andy's bewildered expression.

"G-good morning, Judge Spencer. I'm, uh, perfect – yeah." Andy grimaced at his poorly constructed reply. "Very well, Good-bye then," she added, and strode away.

"Good-bye."

Andy raised a hand to his head, running his fingers roughly through his hair. The door opened again, and Sharon jolted backwards in surprise, "Andy!" Her previously huge smile faded into a frown, "Oh, hello, Andy. What can I do for you?"

Andy shook his head and replied, "Nothing. I was just – ehm, for you," handing her the cup with a jerk. Sharon took it as if grabbing a baseball ball thrown into her lap and looked up at him, taken aback "Andy...are you alright?"

"Hmm? Yeah, nice of you to ask," he shot back with barely suppressed scorn. His voice had become high-pitched, and his shocked expression was replaced by his hardly concealed anger. Sharon's eyes closed and remained closed for a long instant before taking a deep breath, sensing that she was once more the cause of Andy's decidedly odd behavior. She opened her eyes slowly and motioned for Andy to enter her office, "Andy, come on in please."

Andy entered her office, his mind split by two warring voices ringing in his mind. Thoughts of her in the arms of another man – screwing another man – fought with thoughts of attempting to be a good friend to Sharon, of respecting the fact that she has been good to him and deserves more than his ire. Swirling in his thoughts, the idea that Sharon lied to him remains strong – despite the fact that he knows that he should trust her, because she isn't just any _woman. _She's his Sharon, and she wouldn't just lie to him. Would she? "Andy?" her voice pierced through his madness, "would you sit down please?"

He sat down before her desk, watching as she sat on the chair besides him, hands on knees, and elbows on her quads, leaning towards him.

"Alright, alright!" Andy said with a raised voice, trying to silence the voices in his mind.

Throwing his hands away from his body, Sharon looked at him in concern, eyes wide open. She jolted back slightly, her hands palm up and away from her, giving him her palms, her thumbs joined. Andy made a resolution, a plan to discover more -he was a detective, so he should know how to ask the right questions to obtain the information he needed to know. But she was a Captain - _his_ Captain - and besides, being acquainted with his interrogation methods, she was not easy to fool. "I really enjoyed your company last night, Sharon," he looked at her grinning.

She showed surprise, as though she wasn't expecting to hear him say so in that very moment. She relaxed and smiled back "oh...as did I, Andy."

"Then what about having dinner, together, tonight?" he asked with an awkward, guilty grin.

"Oh, well, actually I'm busy,"' she said, pressing her lips together.

Inside of him, the voices continued raging – pressing him to continue pushing her, and warning him to stop.

"Oh, ok, then," he replied, standing up. "I've gotta go back to work now."

Sharon looked up at him taken aback, as she didn't expect him to leave her so soon after entering her office, and she wondered what was eating at him. He looked down, surprised at the sight of her disappointed expression. He felt idiotic and mean. Internally, Andy berated himself for damaging the mild – and thus far, peaceful – relationship that they had stared. He was about to sit down again and apologize for everything he had done, not really knowing what to say. Anything to ease her disappointment in him. But Sharon stood up, schooling her face into a kind smile before replying slowly, "Well, in that case, I certainly won't keep you."

She yanked her skirt and blazer downwards sharply at hearing her own voice shake when she said _keep you._ His heart sank, and he saluted her before striding out of her office. She tiptoed to the blinds, opening them discreetly as her eyes followed him on the way back to his desk. Something was wrong with him again, and she sensed that she was once again the cause. Taking a deep breath and letting it gush out, she came to the realization that yes, there was a problem once more. Staring at him steadily, the sight of his back turned stiffly towards her hurt more than she ever thought it would.

Sharon had planned to leave Major Crimes earlier that evening to get ready for her date comfortably. However, she was also very aware of the unpredictable issues linked to the nature of her job and rank, thus she had arranged also a b-plan. As she collected her bag and folders ready to leave, Chief Taylor entered her office, tapping the open door. "Captain, I'm afraid you'll have to put off your plans for now."

Sharon looked up at him, sighing slightly, "What can I do for you Chief?" she smiled and shook her head.

"Chief Pope demands your presence at the LAPD Annual Meeting that will take place next Thursday evening in the Conference Hall," he informed her, sitting on the chair facing her desk.

"Oh...?" Sharon tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing, "This is the first time my presence has ever been required at an Annual Meeting." Sharon licked her upper lip, pressed her lips together and then took a deep breath, "May I ask what led Chief Pope to require my presence this year?" Sharon's eyebrows arched her eyes wide, and her voice adopting a falsely pleasant tone that dared Chief Taylor to pull the other one.

'Well...Chief Pope wishes to – ah - give you credit, officially, for your talent and ability and for the competence and self-abnegation that have characterized your work during your long, long career."

"Another _long_ and I might feel the urge to retire, Chief," Sharon said, nodding once, her lips spread in a light smile and her eyes suspicious, "oh, excuse me, please go on."

"Well, you joined the LAPD when very, very young, Captain," Chief Taylor clarified quickly.

"Chief, please, I didn't mean to suggest that you should keep talking about my age..." she said, amused at Taylor's awkwardness.

"Captain, Chief Pope is enthusiastic about the amount of money saved this year thanks to your ability and professionalism with regards to deal-making – not to mention your closure rate. Under your lead Major Crimes has overtaken Chief Johnson's rate, and moreover no one, not a single officer, has ever been reported to FID since you arrived. Not least, not a single legal action has been taken against the LAPD since you took the reins." She expected that Taylor wanted to say far more, but so far he was more preoccupied with staring at his knees. It took him a while before he continued, "And… you are a woman. Your presence would be of great inspiration for all the women in and out the Police Force! It's the LAPD's wish to show their effort to give women equal opportunities." Sharon rolled her eyes, and he concluded, looking up at her, "These are the reasons why your presence is required."

Sharon didn't speak immediately, "Chief, please inform Chief Pope that I will be going, regardless-"

"Very well, Captain," Taylor interrupted, standing up, rubbing the palms of his hands with a sly grin. "Provided, that," Sharon raised her voice slightly to quieten Taylor, "all of my subordinate officers and colleagues here receive the same credit I will."

"Captain, you are the head of this department - you are the mind-" Taylor blinked repeatedly.

"I wouldn't be able to satisfy LAPD and Chief Pope's expectations without the precious professional and personal contribution that every Lieutenant, detective and professional of this department brings to our cases. Not to mention their sacrifice and deep humanity," she said, her voice strong and resolute and her eyes fixated on Taylor's face, showing him that she would not back down. Taylor stood up and reached the door, "I will inform Chief Pope, Captain, and I will let you know, good night."

"Thank you, Chief, and I appreciate it. Good night."

Sharon let out a deep breath, looked at her watch and snorted, rolling her eyes: b-plan. She rushed to her coat hanger and reached for the garment bag, darting to lock the door. Provenza noticed her hurry and was already throwing suspicious glances at her door – had been since Taylor had knocked on it. He noticed Andy noticing too but had, as yet, avoided looking at her. Sharon glanced at Andy's back and closed the blinds, shooting a small smile at Provenza's raised eyebrows.

The door of her office opened, and Provenza and Tao automatically lifted their eyes at the sound of her heels tapping the floor. Their jaws dropped. Provenza looked at Tao, his lips pressed together, bottom lip curved downwards and protruding slightly, his eyebrows arched. He nodded his head once after tossing his chin at the Captain. Sanchez turned, his dim, wild stare suddenly betraying amazement as his breath caught for an instant. Sharon walked into the murder room with a hand in her bag, fingering its contents to find her car keys. She was carrying some folders under one arm, her trench-coat and garment bag on the same arm, hand clutching her bag. Provenza noticed her eyes glancing at Andy's empty chair as Sanchez darted towards her, "Madame," he said chivalrously, taking Sharon's folders, garment bag and trench-coat, "let me help you."

Sharon looked at him with gratitude, and smiled kindly, "Thank you, Lieutenant."

"You look beautiful," Julio added in a low voice, perfectly audible to everybody around before clearing his throat. Sharon's head tilted towards Sanchez, as she had not been addressed that way in so long, and had certainly not expected the compliment from Sanchez.

She blushed and replied, "Thank you, Julio," smiling softly.

Andy entered the room with a folder in his hand, checking his cellphone in the other. He casually glanced in her direction. Then he stopped – his heart stopping at the same time. His jaw dropped, struck by the auburn hair tumbling to the middle of her back. She was wearing a plain black cocktail dress, with a knee-length skirt that left her heavenly legs uncovered. Her never-ending, finely shaped legs naked, but with thin and glittering black lace twisting around her ankles in gorgeous lace pumps. The dress clung to her thin yet curvaceous body, the beautiful shape of her bottom distinguishable beneath the sheer black material. The sleeves were up to her elbows, leaving her forearms uncovered. Andy's veritable tornado of emotions irradiated from the core of his chest into his throat and in his lungs, lingering in his stomach. His groin ached. Sharon turned to him, feeling his stare. A huge smile spread across her lips at the sight of him. Liquid fire ignited his lower abdomen as he was treated to the sight of her creamy breast, framed by the plunging neckline of her dress. He wanted her so badly, and knew with a desperate anguish that he could not have her.

After she left, escorted by Sanchez, Provenza mimicked Julio blithely, and Tao's chuckle was briskly cut out by Sanchez's surly glare.

"Thank you all for your great work! See you tomorrow. Good night!"

After everybody left, Provenza's invitation for a drink rejected, Andy entered her office in a miserable mood. The more he tried not to think of her the less he succeeded. He just couldn't shake thoughts of her from his mind, body and soul. Moreover, the thought of her dining with another man hurt him - but the thought of her entering her apartment with _him, _his hands and lips on her - was driving him insane. Internally, Andy knew that he was being selfish. Sharon deserved more than what he could offer – she deserved to be courted, loved and held tightly by a real man. Andy reached her chair and went down on his knees - he could smell her scent, and breathed in appreciatively. He caressed her seat, and then sat on her chair, leaning back into it. He took a deep breath and looked around, noticing a bunch of white roses by the window with a little card among them. He hesitated, then leaned forward and picked up the card: _To the most gorgeous woman and Captain in LAPD You will always be my only one, forever yours, R._

Andy felt sick. He hurriedly returned the card to its place before looking out at the LA skyline, as though searching for her. She was somewhere outside there in company of _R_, certainly not sparing one thought on him, who was sitting in her chair consumed by the thought of her. Distraught, he stood suddenly and strode away – anything to shake himself of her.

He didn't know how he arrived there, waiting for her in front of her own condo. It was useless and desperate, and it wouldn't help at all, but he had to see her with him. To see if she was happy, and if he really was in love with her,_ mister R- young_ _handsome_ _man-_ _forever hers._ He didn't even know if she still was out or already home! He recalled the sight of her in the murder room, classily dressed and smiling sexily at him. He looked at his watch: 8:23 pm. He checked his cellphone. No texts. He hadn't even acknowledged her properly; he had just waved at her, pretending to be on the phone. He had noticed her slight disappointment. But then she had cheerfully said goodbye and left.

What Andy didn't know was that she had felt very sorry for him and very disappointed at seeing him busy on the phone. He didn't know how much it cost her to conceal her feelings from him. Her husband and her job at FID had taught her well. She had learned to hide her feelings and emotions very well when circumstances dictated - when it was necessary to protect herself and her children. She had been alone for all of her life, and had learned to be a loner despite her own nature, but for the safety of her children. She had taken the life she hadn't chosen - the life that had slapped her in the face - and had tried to take all she could get from it. She had accepted compromises and deals, bending but not breaking and never, never betraying herself and her beliefs once. That was the only price she would not pay. Her faith had supported her too. Real, _inner_ Sharon had always been at the core of the Captain Raydor façade - of Jack's wife, of doting mother.

What Andy didn't know was that she was thinking of him, checking her cellphone often even though she was having a very lovely night. She had started composing a text to him a couple of times while her young man was busy on his cell. Although Sharon couldn't figure out why, each time she attempted to send the message, it was deleted without a second thought.

It was 9:02pm when Sharon finally arrived, walking from her car to her condo hand in hand with R, her giggles audible as he tickles her waist. Hugging her, he placed a kiss on her forehead, lifting her completely from the ground so that not even her toes touch. Returning her to the ground, she stops with a palm against her forehead whilst he bends towards her. She opened her purse and handed him her car keys. Running to it, he clicked it open, collecting her bag, folders and trench coat all at once before throwing his free arm around her shoulders and steering them towards the condo. Andy's mind and heart ached. He felt his phone buzz, Provenza's name lighting up his screen, but he steadfastly ignored it. Starting his car, he drove away to yet another sleepless night. Upon arriving home, he sat on the couch, leaning heavily over his coffee table. Frustrated, he punched it fiercely, but to his disappointment, it didn't hurt as much as he needed it to – to distract him from thoughts of _her._ Leaning back, Andy reclined his head, slumping as a hiss groaned out of him and became fully-fledged sobbing.

Andy woke up, with a start, "Ouch…" he mumbled, back aching. He had cried himself to sleep, his body sliding down the sofa out of exhaustion. At his age, he now paid the price for his night on the sofa as his back seared with every movement. He looked up at his watch, his eyes narrowing as the morning light penetrated his vision, "9:08!" he forgot his back and jolted from the sofa before yelling, "Ouch!", his back aching. "Oh, shit!" he rolled himself off the couch and fell on his knees groaning in pain as he massaged his lower back. He grabbed his cell: 12 missed calls and 4 texts, all from Provenza. It was already too late - he had no time to read them, and besides which, he could easily figure out their content.

He called Provenza and instantly received a reply, "Where the hell are you? The Captain was about to send Sanchez to see if you had fainted or died in your bed!"

"Alright, tell her I'm coming okay? I just had a little accident last night..."

"Oh-ho-ho, was it a blonde or brunette accident?" Andy could see Provenza's Cheshire grin spreading across his face.

"Neither! It was an accident, and I've got a stiff back to prove it!"

"Good Lord, Flynn! You're not kidding, are you? That's pathetic! At this rate, we're going to be the geriatric department!"

"Listen, I'm coming. I'll be right there ok? Tell HER!" Andy bellowed as he hung up.

Andy entered the murder room, walking at a slower pace than usual. Observing his movements, Provenza shook his head whilst Tao and Sanchez grinned. Andy shook his head in irritation at his team-mates' antics. The blinds were shut. Buzz came out of the Captain's office and found Flynn trying to lower himself into his chair, his face contracting in barely concealed agony.

"Oh? What, is it pandemic?" Buzz said, looking at Tao and Sanchez, as Provenza shook his head with a frown, puzzled by Buzz's words. Sharon entered the murder room slowly, a hand braced against the wall (supporting her body) and the other clenched around her lower back. Provenza's eyes widened, his eyebrows almost reaching his hairline. Tao and Sanchez plunged towards their desks, suddenly remembering that they had work to do. Andy turned to Provenza, grimacing and throwing a hand out, its palm up. Provenza's Cheshire grin made another appearance, promptly vanishing under his usual grumpy mask as the Captain turned to him.

"Uh, Captain, can I do something for you?" Provenza asked, standing up and giving her his arm.

"Oh, thank you, Lieutenant. It's silly, I can never seem to remember that time has passed for me, either. Then, an abrupt movement, a cool draft and your body reminds you immediately."

"Well, thank Heavens I don't know what you're talking about, Captain!" he said, mock affronted. She looked at him with arched eyebrows, her lips curving in expectation of some sort of stunt. "I'm too lazy for abrupt movements, and cool drafts on my skin are just a faded memory." He blinked, and then smiled at her high pitched giggles, her eyebrows furrowing at the ache in her back. She pressed her lips together, shaking her head at him.

"Good morning, Andy," she said, turning to him.

"Captain," he replied with a nod of his head, glancing at her, then looking away to the folder in front of him again. Her hopes for a warmer greeting were dashed. Andy felt his heart raging in his chest at the thought of the _abrupt movements _Sharon had been making all night with R. Sure, he was a real gentleman – exposing her hot, naked body to the cool air, sweat drying on her skin in a post orgasmic chill. The sensible side of him battled to control his thoughts, berating him for thinking about what Sharon may have been doing the night before.

"Andy," He turned to her, his eyebrows raised, "might we have a word please?" she said, her hands thrown outwards to indicate the door of her office. He nodded once, lips pressed together. He groaned in pain as he moved to get up, and fell back into his chair instead.

"Andy!"

"Don't worry, Captain," Provenza said slowly, setting his arm free from her grip and reaching over to Andy, helping him stand, "it seems you are not the only one who had a little accident resulting in back injury last night." Provenza hesitated, but continued daringly. Sharon couldn't help giggling. Provenza escorted them to her office and as they sat down in the chairs in front of her desk, he said, "I hope I can leave you alone you two," pretending to refer to their backs only. Sharon blushed in spite of her and Andy threw a hand at him but Provenza had already left and shut the door.

"So, how did you...?" Sharon muffled a new urge to giggle.

"I just slept in an odd position," Andy answered, relief coloring his tone at the sight of Sharon muffling the urge to laugh, eyes shining. A grin surfaced on his lips, she was so beautiful and funny. "uh, what about you?" he dared.

"Oh, well, as you know, yesterday night I was busy," Andy glanced at the roses behind her and felt his stomach wriggle, "I was so excited, and had such a lovely night, that I just didn't think of wearing my trench-coat for the after dinner walk."

Andy wondered why she was telling him about it all - was she about to tell him about the young man, too? He was her friend, and that's something she might be willing to confide in her friend, Andy. As for his feelings for her, she was aware of them and she was too sensitive and sensible to tell him about her young lover.

'So, you had a lovely night?" Andy grinned, his stomach aching

"Oh yes, Ricky hasn't come to see me since Christmas, 2009!"

"Ricky?" Inside, Andy's gut churned.

"Yes, my son, Richard! He's come to meet Rusty! And we had a wonderful time together," she said shining. Andy's happiness at this revelation was overwhelming, as though he were a surfer, riding the vast waves of the ocean.

His eyes lit up, "Oh, wow Sharon, that's great! Why didn't you tell me?!" he almost scolded her.

"Oh, well, I just saw you so tense yesterday and I couldn't keep you company and I guess I – I just preferred to leave it out," Sharon said, feeling sorry at the thought of Andy alone. "However, Ricky and I had dinner out and then we met Rusty for dessert. You know, it was Ricky's birthday and Rusty wanted to give us room, just for the two of us," she smiled fondly, then frowned looking at Andy, his eyes suddenly dim.

Andy reached for her hand sighing, his eyes closed for an instant his lower lip trembling "I'm sorry, Sharon." "What for?" she smiled, her eyes open wide.

"I -I'm afraid I can't," he choked, "I tried, but this is too hard for me." His eyes darkened, as her eyes remained wide. In one breath, she swallowed her breath with Andy's next statement, "I can't be your friend." He finished, voice uneven under the burden of sudden awareness.


	5. JUST THE TWO OF US Chapter 5 (4)

**JUST THE TWO OF US**

Chapter 5 (4)

**by Stands With a Fic – Camima**

Thanks for all your reviews and PMs. Please review as much as you can, your criticism is also very welcome, it helps me to see my limits and to be more aware of my work. I wish to express my overwhelming gratitude to my Beta Cmemlovr, thanks for your patience and support.

Sharon felt her heart sink. She swallowed hard and blinked repeatedly, her lips parted, mind blank. Andy looked at her, expecting at least a questioning glance. Apart from blinking, however, Sharon was paralyzed. "Listen Sharon, I know this is neither the right time nor the right place to talk about it," Andy said slowly. Sharon swallowed then licked her lips quickly, still bewildered, "and I don't even know if you even want to talk about it at all." Andy continued, his voice low and rough, a gloomy look in his eyes. He paused, but she remained silent, so he finished by saying, "talk to me, Sharon."

Sharon pressed her lips together, nodding her head twice. She then took a deep breath and said, "Andy," her voice shaking. She cleared her throat, "It is not my intention to push you into talking or changing your mind," she said, her voice She swallowed hard and lifted her eyes to the ceiling before continuing, "nevertheless, I would appreciate it if you could tell me why you feel we can no longer be friends," she paused for a moment then added, looking at him "Andy, I need to know, is it because of something I said or did?" she looked him dead in the eye.

"Oh, Sharon, no, no - it's not you, it's me. I just don't deserve you - your friendship." She jolted and grimaced but ignored the pain in her back, clasping her hands together and placing them on her lap.

"So…it's something you did or said?" Andy looked into her eyes, his own wide open, longing for her to understand as he nodded his head. She pressed her lips together, "and you don't want to tell me what it is." she muttered.

"Sharon -" he said, his fingers rubbing his forehead.

"No, Andy." she said, her voice slightly raised but steady, shaking her head repeatedly while talking. He looked at her taken aback and she continued, "what you are saying is that since you did or said something... not quite right to me - which, of course, you don't want to tell me, I simply have to accept the loss of your friendship!" she looked straight into his eyes with a frown, then closed her eyes, took a long breath and returned to look at Andy's puzzled face. "Andy," she said softly, her voice laden with care for him, "Please tell me what's wrong, and please let _me_ decide whether what you did or said is actually wrong and if so, whether to doubt your friendship." As she spoke Andy's stare transitioned from bitter to moved. Her words ringing in his mind, he realized how unique, sensible and sweet she really was. "Before losing you," her voice broke, so she cleared her throat before pursuing her current thought, "I must be sure the loss is worth the feelings of regret and absence that will undoubtedly be much worse," she said tenderly. Andy looked at her fondly, reaching for her hand and kissing it, eyes closed and lips lingering on her hand.

"Alright," he said his rough voice fraught with emotion.

"What about testing your friendship through dinner?' she asked, her voice sounding a little teasing, a smile spreading on her lips.

Since her back was recovering quickly thanks to painkillers and a massage from Ricky that morning, Sharon offered to drive Andy home and cook him dinner. His backache was not that serious but he accepted to appease her. He loved to please her in any way that he could. On their way to his apartment, their conversation diverted to Sharon's cooking abilities – a skill she would readily admit was not one of her most outstanding. She could easily prepare her children's favorite dishes and a quantity of salads, but brand-new recipes always took a lot of time and energy. Andy smiled at the thought of her planning cooking operations, arranging tools and examining the text of a recipe. Captain Sharon Raydor - so competent and effective in her job - resolved to accomplish her cooking tasks. He was glad she was telling him something about her rather than having to learn it through close observation (as he had done plenty of other little facts).

Andy opened the entrance door and stretched out his arm to the far wall, flipping on the lights. He tilted his chin his lips curved, his hands now showing Sharon the way and inviting her to enter, "Ladies first," he smirked. Sharon entered his apartment, feeling a little awkward and weird. Finding her breathtaking and entirely tender, Andy started behind her as she walked in tentatively. She was not home, nor out with him, but right in his apartment and that was the first time they were together in his apartment to spend the evening together.

There had been Nicole's wedding, she had been sitting beside him on the bench reserved for the parents of the bride, but she had felt at ease. After all, Andy had been happily grinning at her the whole time, proud to have her admired for her beauty, class and kindness, but also exceedingly irritated to have her checked out by almost every man between thirty and eighty invited to the wedding. They had danced together - even a couple of slow dances - and she had felt right in his arms, their bodies and faces so close for the first time in years. He had placed his hand on the small of her back, holding her gently, then firmly, his thumb rubbing her body all the while - but it still felt _safe_. The night of the Nutcracker they had had a lovely dinner together and had talked about Andy's relationship with Nicole, with him occasionally slipping into stories about his childhood. Even if she had known there was something going on that night, something he had preferred not to tell her, she had enjoyed his company regardless and they had laughed heartily. She had noticed him looking at her fondly and also more than slightly-flirtatiously, but it was Andy and she had felt safe and grateful to him for the wonderful and amusing evening. After driving her home, he had opened the car door for her, offering his hand to help her get out of his car. It was then that she noticed his eyes lingering on her legs before looking away hastily. Her dress was form-fitting and up to her knees, leaving them and part of her thighs above them uncovered. Classily, she had whirled on her bottom and put her legs out first in order to exit his car. She had gotten out and stood up, yet he still hadn't moved - he hadn't even pulled back, their bodies and faces now closer than when they had danced. His eyes piercing hers, she had looked away blushing, and he had grinned with awareness. Escorting her into the elevator, he held his hand on the small of her back, leaning his own on the wall beside the buttons and looking at her all the while. A smile escaped her, her eyes already turned away from his. They had walked down the corridor in silence. He didn't need to talk to her, he merely needed to memorize every infinitesimal detail of her hair and face in him mind. She too felt as though they didn't need to talk, feeling appreciative towards him for such a great night and soaking in the content sensation that came with the easiness and intimacy of their relationship. An intimacy that allows two people to remain comfortably silent without the need for conversation. They were at her apartment, on the threshold of the open entrance door, neither of them willing to leave the other. She had smiled at him before pressing her lips together and biting her lower lip with a raised eyebrow. She wasn't aware. He wasn't either, yet.

"Well," Andy had said in a low intense voice, while leaning a hand onto the wall and over her, "thank you, Sharon," he grinned, nodding his head once as he said her name, his eyes interlocked with hers, "for the great night, it was lovely and entertaining - even if it wasn't a date."

He arched his eyebrows, his free hand palm up and his arm drifting outwards.

She giggled and nodded her head "Yes it was," she interrupted, her voice sultry.

"Oh really? So...it was a date?" he had asked, eyes wide open and grinning widely so as to clarify his teasing intentions (admittedly more to himself than to her, at that point), his eyes shining with amusement whilst piercing hers.

"Of course not, Lieutenant," her eyes now wide open to show shock but she couldn't restrain a smile despite pursing her lips, "I'm a married woman," she had continued, her eyes normal size again, eyebrows raising, head shaking.

Andy pursed his lips and nodded, "what I meant is, yes it was a lovely and funny night."

Andy had nodded his head smiling, "So, what are you doing now, Captain? Going to bed?"

Sharon was instantly taken aback, having expected to hear him bid her _goodnight _instead. However, she could not deny that she felt somewhat pleased that he was subtly attempting to delay his departure. He had smiled a surprised and lingering smile at her reaction.

"Well actually, I would like a cup of tea," she had paused "would you?" Her voice was soft and sultry.

"Sure!" He had smiled brightly, and soon they were talking and sipping tea on her balcony. Sat on the floor (barefoot) their shoulders touched comfortably, whilst his jacket, tie and belt lay discarded on the back of a chair, and her bracelet, necklace and earrings sat on the floor beside her. They had remained there, their voices low - almost a whisper – so as not to wake Rusty, Sharon muffling her giggles throughout his stories of a much younger Andy. She hadn't told him much of herself, but he respected that, she being more of a listener generally. This suited him just fine, as he loved to hear her muffled giggles, pleased to be the cause of them.

Sharon put her bag on Andy's couch, walking slowly and looking around. She saw Andy grinning at her, and reaching for her trench, she let it slide down her shoulders as he was behind her helping her to take it off. She took off her blazer too. She then turned, went behind him and helped him to take off his jacket and blazer.

"Thank you," Andy said, grimacing.

Sharon smiled at him and instructed him to make himself comfortable. As he sat at the couch, she hung up their jackets and blazers before pointing towards the couch and asking, "Are there other cushions?" her hands on her waist.

Andy smiled - she had just entered his apartment for the first time and she was already giving orders and organizing his space, "I only have pillows."

"Perfect, where can I find them?"

Andy looked at her, raising his eyebrows then frowning, "Well, in my bedroom?"

She rolled her eyes, but smiled "Really? Where is your bedroom?" she asked, her hands still on her waist, leaning on one hip with a leg outstretched, her lips pursed.

"I'll show you," Andy said, loosening his tie and removing it, grinning in that sideways manner that Sharon loved so much. Sharon followed him, her arms folded. As they entered his bedroom, she pursed her lips at the thought they were alone in his bedroom. Pulling the comforter down and fetching two pillows, she stopped and turned to Andy, who was watching her and shaking his head.

"What?" she asked, smiling mildly, her eyes questioning. "Oh, do you prefer the bed?" she asked with sudden realization.

"Oh, always!" he grinned, eyes teasing. She let out a breath and shook her head. "Sharon," she nodded her head once wrapping her arms around his pillows, "You wanna know, right?" she nodded again her eyebrows furrowing, knowing he meant to tell her what he had done that was so terrible to spoil their friendship.

"If you want to tell me, Andy, I want to know. If you really think you can't be my friend anymore, I wish and need to know why." she remained there beside the bed, her eyes piercing and fists clenching his pillows. He walked over her, took one of her hands, uncoiling her arms from around the pillows and threw them onto his bed. Then took her hand and went to sit on the edge side of his bed, pulling her slightly to have her sat beside him. Andy found easier to talk to her like this, feeling her beside him, but not having to look at her face while telling her all he had done and felt.

"So… I lied to you, spied on you and was mad with you and at the thought that you could see your husband or another man. I felt happy when I realized you're not dating anyone." Andy was furling and unfurling his hands, pacing a dent in the floor, his voice rough and bitter, speaking as though he were recounting a crime. He felt guilty, and wholeheartedly believed that he deserved that sentence. Placing his hands together, he turned silently to look at Sharon. Sharon looked at him from over the rim of her glasses; her chin tilted downwards, eyes narrowed, and fingers intertwined.

"Thank you, Andy," she whispered. Andy looked at her bewildered, shaking his head, "I really appreciate that you told me." Andy took a deep breath as to say something but just couldn't speak. He understood and knew why she was thanking him, but also knew that she meant more. She meant to tell him that he hadn't done anything so terrible and that she appreciated his honesty. He felt that in doing this he had reinforced their friendship. Looking into her eyes piercingly, he noticed that her eye were shining, a warm smile on her lips. She reached for his hand and grabbed it, squeezing it gently. Then she pulled it away to put it on his back rubbing it in circle.

"Sharon," he said, noticing the appearance of concern in her gaze, "I'm sorry." She nodded her head repeatedly, knowing how sorry he was. "How can I be your friend when I behaved like this? And I can't even promise you that it won't happen again." She shook her head, taking a deep breath before rolling her eyes back to meet his.

She sat closer to him he felt the sides of their thighs grazing, "How about being honest to me, and supporting me when I need you?" Andy smiled with fondness and a hint of bitterness in his eyes, for the most part, he had been true to her and he had supported her, and he understood that she was only asking him to continue doing so. "I really care for you, and I trust you, regardless," she said, her voice almost breaking. Andy put an arm around her, clasping her arm and pulling Sharon into him, one hand on his chest the other in her lap, her head against his pectoral and shoulder. Gently, he pressed his lips into her forehead, resting his own against hers. Sharon felt safe and right again knowing he loved her and that his hug and kiss came from his sincere affection. She knew he would never do anything disrespectful of her and of her will. Andy felt his heart overwhelmed by his feelings for her, as he breathed her in and held her to him, wishing only to always be there for her to protect and serve her, promising to never to anything to upset or harm her.

"Hungry?" He asked with a warm voice.

"Not really," she answered, her voice almost inaudible, eyes closed. They didn't move and remained as they were.

"You?" She asked

"Not really," he replied. She sensed him grinning against her forehead and soaked up the moment. He sensed her smiling back, her cheek quirking upwards against his pectoral.

Andy awoke with a sense of easiness and delight that he had never felt before, ensconced in warmth, wrapping around warmth. He blinked a few times before focusing on the sight of Sharon, sleeping with her lips slightly parted and her face relaxed against his neck. His arm was under her nape and her hair was spread across the pillows behind her. They were lying on their sides, her body cuddled up against his. His other arm was holding her back, his elbow on her waist, forearm upon her spine, his hand resting between her shoulder blades. She was barefoot and her legs had intertwined with his. Andy noticed that the hem of her dress had risen slightly in sleep, and had to quiet his thoughts at the sight of her exposed skin. His heart jolted in his chest, hammering against his ribcage. Barely able to swallow, he finally succeeded in swallowing hard, knowing that they couldn't remain in that position. He knew she would be shocked to wake up and find their bodies intertwined. Not least, he was a flesh-and-blood man with Latin blood, and she was _Sharon! _He couldn't help having certain physical reaction! Fighting his body, Andy started to pull his arm away from under Sharon's head softly, but paused when she sighed slightly. He then pulled his legs away from hers slowly, but Sharon reacted by clenching his tighter – _Shit! _He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, putting a hand the knee that had trapped his thigh and pushed it away, clenching his teeth and squinting his eyes. He released his breath when he managed to pull his legs away, letting her other leg lie onto the bed. He lay his back down on the bed now breathing more easily.

"Hold me," she whispered in her sleep, her voice languid. Andy's head tilted to the side, mouth open, and eyes wide. He looked at her sleeping, shaking his head, a grin spread over his lips

"I couldn't ask for more," he whispered his voice rough and almost breaking. He softly and slowly removed her glasses from her nose and put them on the nightstand, then returned to slowly lie down on his side beside her to watch her sleeping. He watched as her chest rose and fell in a wave expanding from her lungs to her belly and back. He lay with his head against his hand and his chest heaved up on his elbow, noting now that his back did not ache as much as it had last night. He caressed her hair, intertwining his wandering fingers with some of the strands. She slightly pursed her lips and shook. Andy unfolded the blanket over the back of his bed and covered her, suppressing the impulse to wrap himself about her. He lay leaning on her this time, his face close to hers and his eyes lingering on her lips and on the little wrinkles around them. Roaming the features of her face, he took note of her cheeks and eyelids, and smiled at the fact that she was almost the same age as him but that he was completely able to forget her age when he looked at her. He was growing and feeling far older. He saw a man growing old in the mirror every morning while shaving and he couldn't believe that it was him. But when he looked at Sharon and thought of her, he didn't notice the same process, her age still not evident from her features. She had the power to conceal age and not only look but be much younger than she was. He caressed her hairline looking at her fondly.

"Sharon, I love you," he whispered.

"mmmh," she smiled softly in her sleep and he gulped. His pupils widened with desire, his lips burning. He couldn't and shouldn't, not when she trusted him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then pulled himself away and sat up on the bed, turning to look at her and releasing his breath. Smiling bitterly at himself and aware he was doing the right thing, he stood up, his back beginning to ache again as he walked over to the door. "I love you too," Sharon let out in a breath. Andy turned to her, jolting, his heart bumping in his chest. She was still asleep but he had clearly heard her mumble, "Jack…"


	6. HOLD ME TENDER AND TIGHT Chapter 6

**HOLD ME TENDER AND TIGHT**

chapter 5 (6)

**by** Stands With A Fic - **Cami**

**Thanks everybody for the encouraging reviews and PMs! If you have questions I will answer them all! My overwhelming gratitude to my beta CMemlovr! Please review and comment! I'm so afraid to 'betray' Sharon, the complexity of her feelings , I'm eager to understand and express her all. Of course this is a totally unknown Sharon yet...waiting for S3 to know why she's still married to Jack, her real inner and deep why I mean...**

**Happy Easter/ Spring Break!**

Sharon woke up feeling cold. Blinking she looked around, trying to figure out where she was, the blanket beside her. Andy's scent lingered around her and she smiled, feeling reassured by its presence. She massaged her back which ached as she drew up suddenly. She looked around again, sitting on the side edge of Andy's bed, glancing casually at the nightstand as she reached for her glasses. Looking at her watch, which read _8:04 PM, _she slipped her shoes on, folding the blanket neatly before setting it down on the bed. Heading for the kitchen, she distinctly remembered seeing the living room and hallway leading to the bedroom when she had arrived, so the kitchen had to be on the other side of the living room.

She peered into Andy's kitchen and watched as he appeared to be stirring something. Then he moved to a steaming pot and removed its lid to drop spaghetti in it. Sharon remained there watching him surprised at the sight of Andy doing something so intimate, so domestic. Of course, he had been divorced for quite a while, and had therefore been living by himself. Sharon was surprised at the feeling of domesticity that reared up within her. Stepping into the kitchen, she decided to observe Andy from up-close, "Smells good," she said, her voice softer than expected.

Andy started, but with a surprised grin, "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, hungry?"

Sharon smiled at him, tilting her chin down and looking at him from over the brim of her glasses "Rather," she replied, nodding slightly.

"Very well," Andy chuckled, "It'll be ready in three then." Sharon looked at the table Andy had set with a blue cloth, two forks, white dishes and two wine glasses. Two blue candles and a match box were in the middle of the table with water and cranberry juice. "How are you feeling?" Andy asked.

Sharon turned to him confused at first, comprehension dawning slowly as she realized that he was referring to her back, "Better, much better. You?"

Andy smiled, "Me too," he nodded, "but I meant," he cleared his throat "you."

Puzzled, Sharon walked over to Andy and leaned her lower back against the counter, arms crossed over her chest. Andy hesitated. The real reason behind his sudden need to cook had been to distract himself from the sound of Sharon saying her ex-husband's name echoing in his mind. He had felt idiotic in thinking that in her sleep she might have dropped her defences - that through her unconsciousness she might have told him she loved him. He was now eager to ask her about Jack and how things were between them, uneasily aware that he wasn't asking as a friend, but in the hopes that she would say that she no longer loved him. He was also aware, maybe more so than Sharon, of her feelings for Jack.

Andy returned his mind to the present, his absentminded gaze meeting Sharon's expectant and inquisitive one. She had repeatedly asked for only one thing – that he be honest and open with her, "Sharon," he began hesitantly, "you spoke in your sleep," he continued, hoping that she wouldn't want to know how he knew. Clearing his throat, he finished hurriedly, "you said Jack's name." Sharon's so far stony gaze widened in shock before recovering to their formerly scary state. Realizing that she had softened some, however, he continued, "You told him…that you love him." Sharon's gaze was tense now, and Andy couldn't help but look away for a moment before returning his eyes to hers. She sighed softly, licked her lips quickly and drew a deep breath. "Are you alright?" he asked with concern. "I was wondering if there is anything you -" Andy cut himself off before he could finish his sentence; _is there anything you_ _would like to tell me? _He realized that this would probably sound like a warning or interrogation – like a father allowing his daughter to be honest about her misdeeds before punishment. "Sharon," his voice was rough with emotion and hesitant, "what's going on with Jack? He was with you for three days and then suddenly left."

Sharon looked taken aback by his daring question at first, but exhaustion took over her gaze once more, and she shook her head to signify that she _really _didn't want to talk about it, "That's Jack. Throughout our marriage, it's what he has always done." She stared at the floor as she said it, releasing everything in one breath. Andy's face fell, his eyes widening at Sharon's unexpected admission – at the fact that she was opening up to him about something so intimate that didn't involve Rusty. Most surprising to Andy, however, was this new version of Sharon – was she defeated and unable to bear the darkness of the barren truth? Andy recomposed his face and took a step towards her. They were close now, their bodies almost touching.

He cupped her cheek and made her look at him. In a low voice that was laden with care, he reassured her, "You can always talk to me, Sharon. Let me be there for you the way you are for me." His eyes met hers intently, and she could feel his care for her. There was no more sorrow in his eyes, only care and love for her and an eagerness to ease her burden.

"He left a letter," Sharon continued her voice trembling "but I tore it into pieces before -"her voice broke and Andy could only look into her eyes with his heart aching at the sight of her – at the sight of Sharon pretending that she was used to her husband's unforgivable behavior. She maybe regretted not reading it? No, but she was clearly hurt, "before I opened it. I've read so many over the years, always the same repeated refrain." Sharon concluded lifting her eyes from his chest into his eyes, her smiling lips contrasting with her tear-filled eyes. She let out her breath in a sigh. Andy held her gaze, frowning at the sorrow and pain he could feel for her. Almost thirty years of that life. And yet she loved him. He sensed her sorrow and tears were due to the complexity of such a feeling too. She loved her husband, and a part of her had been waiting for thirty damn years to get him (back?). Even though he was divorced, he couldn't put himself in her position because he had never been there. It was by no means a sudden revelation that he hadn't been the best husband. How could such a bright, sensitive, sensible and intelligent woman not understand what kind of man her husband was before marrying him? Was it possible that he had changed so completely after their engagement from the perfect fiancé to a nightmare of a husband? Despite all of his questions, Andy didn't feel right asking her – after all, why should he? To satisfy his own curiosity? He reasoned that she had probably been asking herself the same questions for the last thirty years anyway. Andy raised his other hand to cup Sharon's nape and pulled her into him consolingly. She melted into his embrace, and Andy moved his hand from her cheek to her back, cradling her body into his.

"Sharon," he sighed, his voice breaking. Ever since he had been told that he suffered from high blood pressure, Andy had felt the weight of his years bearing down on him. However, it also meant that in spite of himself, he was also keener to show his emotions – tenderness and fiery temper alike. Or maybe, he thought, it was just her. It was then that Andy realized what Sharon had done - for the first time in almost thirty years she had broken the vicious cycle, she had destroyed his letter without even reading it. Was she finally letting go of Jack? Andy felt hope cross his mind again and his lips curved subtly.

He pulled back a little to look into Sharon's eyes and she whispered tiredly, "Hold me, Andy, please, hold me tight," her voice trembling against his pectoral. Could Sharon feel his heart thumping at her words?. His arms returned to wrap around her, holding tightly and securely, as if afraid to break her, like a child holding a butterfly cupping his hand around her, her silky wings fluttering and grazing his palms. Her eyelashes grazed his jaw now and Andy closed his eyes, his tender and strong need to protect her negated by the stronger urge he felt to find her lips, which were but a mere two inches away from his own, with his. All he had to do was tilt his chin down and turn his head a tiny bit on his left. Sharon's hands rested on his chest, just above his heart. She fanned her hands across his chest, as though attempting to capture his heartbeats. Andy took a deep, slow breath and tilted his chin down, his body stiff and his mind severed. Her eyelashes brushed his cheekbone now, and she didn't move. Was she waiting for him to kiss her? He turned his head that tiny bit, swallowing as his gaze lingered on her luscious lips before lifting his eyes towards hers. Sharon's eyes were tense now, and Andy swallowed hard before letting go of her body, cupping her face and pressing his lips gently to her forehead, imagining that he were doing it on her lips instead. His eyes blinked, and a tremor shook him slightly. He would not kiss her, not yet. He would not take advantage of her weakness and vulnerability only to have her regret it later. That wasn't the way he wanted their relationship to progress. He yearned to kiss her, but more than that, he longed for her love. Although that seemed to be too far out of reach right now, he would never do anything to break her. He was the only man she actually had in her life. They were friends and not lovers. He was in love with her and she still loved her husband. He could and would respect that. He had no choice. Kissing her would be like betraying her trust, breaking her trust in him – even if right now, she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her, she would only regret it later. Sharon's eyes were wide, looking at him with a mixture of surprise and gratefulness. She smiled at him, her eyes narrowing so as to read him better. Andy smiled back, congratulating himself for the right choice, whilst a feeling of hopeless romanticism crossed his mind once more. Somehow, he had ingratiated himself with Sharon.

Sharon entered her apartment, thinking back of the evening spent at Andy's with mixed emotions. She felt odd, but couldn't put her finger on the reason. She slipped off her shoes and went into her bedroom barefoot. Taking off her glasses, she unzipped her skirt and stepped out of it, leaving it on the floor. She unbuttoned her cuffs and she realized that she didn't have her blazer, having forgotten it at Andy's. She sighed as she took off her shirt. Dropping her clothes on her bed, she went into the bathroom, reached for her toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste out onto it. As she finished rinsing her mouth, she glimpsed her reflection in the mirror. Really looking at herself in the mirror, she scrutinized everything about herself - her eyes, face and lips, her neck, arms, breasts and belly. For whatever reason, she was the one that Andy loved, and though she had felt it today, she admired his self-control around her. She could trust him. While that knowledge should comfort her, she couldn't pin down why she still felt uneasy. She thought back to what Andy had said earlier that day,_ you spoke in your sleep_, pensively considering the fact that he had obviously been there, watching her sleep. He had heard her telling Jack she loved him. She tilted her chin down, unable to bear the sight of herself anymore. She was married to Jack and she didn't take their relationship for granted. Thirty years had passed, and tomorrow would be their thirtieth anniversary and she felt sick and tired. She looked at herself in the mirror again, feeling like a weak prisoner in her marriage, despite all odds. In thirty years of marriage, he had taken her for granted every time he left and returned to her. Through it all, she had stayed. Not to wait for him, but because she knew that sooner or later, he would return. Now she was getting older and she was tired – she was sick of his tricks and games, which was why she had torn his letter to pieces. She was framed in her marriage like her image in the mirror. It was the first time that she had felt this way. Her marriage to Jack had always protected her for other men's advances, and she was shocked at her latest revelation. Sometimes, the old adage that "it is better late than never" couldn't be more wrong. Upset at the thought that, for the first time in thirty years, she regretted her marriage to Jack, she felt no relief or freedom at the thought that they could separate – just confusion and guilt. Hearing Andy repeat what she had said had finally sealed it for her – she might still love Jack, but there was no way he would ever come back into her house or life. It was over, and tearing that letter to pieces had helped her shut the door on him and their marriage. She realized that now. Nevertheless, she loved him- not because he had given her the greatest gifts of her life (her children) – but because he was Jackson Raydor, and she couldn't help herself. They shared funny and sweet memories too. That didn't mean she wanted him again. Suddenly she remembered of her dream and why she had said what she did. Jack had had Andy's voice and he had whispered to her, "_I love you Sharon."_ In her dream he was holding her, crying, and she had told him she loved him too, Jack with Andy's voice. She was puzzled shocked. She tried not to dwell on the dream, focusing instead on trying to rid herself of the feelings welling up inside of her. She unhooked her bra and took off her panties, entered the shower and directed the water jet right onto her face and hair, eyes blinking, brows furrowing, and a sob shaking her shoulders and chest.

Sharon was tossing and turning in her bed, chasing sleep and desperately attempting to stop thinking about Jack and Andy. She was afraid, however, of what sleep and dreams would bring. Then she told herself she could do nothing about, resolving herself to sleep once more. The last time she had felt this way was during Jack's last visit, at 3AM, after she had returned to her bedroom, her bid of a goodnight still on her lips. Turningherbacktohimshecould sleep no more. She thought of the last time he had returned before Rusty's arrival. He had prepared dinner for her, and as she was preparing Ricky's bed for him, he had entered Ricky's bedroom and had watched her with nostalgic and sad eyes. Then, coming up behind her, he had grabbed her hips gently and laid his chin on her shoulder, effectively trapping her in his embrace. She jolted against him, but did not fight him.

"You are so beautiful," he had said, breathing her in, "I miss you." Then he spun her in his arms, forcing her to face him.

"Jack," she had struggled weakly, but pitied him when she saw the look of desperation in his eyes, brought on by his awareness of his own inadequacy in their relationship.

He had hushed her quietly, grazing her lips with his. Removing her glasses from her face without letting her go, lips still pressed against hers, he set them down on the arm rest. "You don't want me in your bed," he had stated simply. She shook her head, closing her eyes and swallowing. "I want you in this bed," he had whispered against her lips, and Sharon shook her head more weakly now, turning her eyes away from him. He had started unbuttoning her semi-transparent nude shirt and kissing her neck when she stammered, "Jack...please." Her shirt was now open, and his lips burned a trail of kisses into her cleavage. She had mentioned her estranged husband just a couple of hours before to Lieutenant Gabriel, and now he was there his hands and lips all over her body. Jack's hands lifted the hem of her skirt, his fingertips grazing the soft skin of her inner thighs. She wanted him and loved him, despite the knowledge that he would never change. But she also couldn't change the fact that she was still his wife, and that she had made a vow to be there for him in some manner, and to never leave him. She was also acutely aware of the fact that she was allowing him to hurt her again, because it wasn't just sex, and she knew that. She had two children with him, and she would have liked to have been able to trust him for them, at least. She had failed, and was as guilty as he was – perhaps even more so because she had wanted her second child despite all that had happened the first time she had been pregnant . And when he had told her he had returned to stay because he loved her and their child and he could not live without them, they had made love so passionately and so tenderly because that was the night he begged her to conceive another baby, and she had trusted him. He had stayed, and four weeks later she told him she was pregnant again. Four weeks and a day later, he was gone, leaving Sharon's apartment dark and silent, a letter labelled _Sharon_ (not to mention the baby in her womb) the only indication of his presence there previously. Saddened, Sharon had laid her hand across her still-flat belly rubbing gently to comfort her baby.

By the time Sharon's mind had returned to the situation at hand, Jack had already lifted her skirt up to her hips.

"Stop it Jack!" she ordered steadily. He hadn't expected her voice to be so strong, especially considering how heavily she'd been breathing not a moment before. She had pulled aside and away from him, stretched her skirt down wrapped her shirt around her chest, striding away from him and into her bedroom. She had not slept with him since the night of Andy's stabbing, when he had called her in the middle of the night asking for her help. She had been incredibly worried about Andy, and had been grateful that he had had the presence of mind to come to her for help. Once at the hospital, she had been so relieved to see him alive, even if he was in bed, and had allowed him to purposely misinform her so that Brenda's team could continue the investigation. She had even been glad that he had accused her of persecuting him – the victim! – because it meant that he was rapidly recovering. She had allowed him to stay at the station to interrogate his aggressor after the identification – reminding him of his promise to go home and rest. Suddenly, she became aware of how often Andy had occupied her thoughts lately and was surprised. Somehow the night Andy had called her, pulling her away from Jack, had really been her lucky day. She smiled, feeling that sleep was finally nearby.

Andy got in her car, "Good morning, Captain," he saluted, winking.

"Good morning, Lieutenant," she smiled, turning to him, her hair falling in gentle waves and hanging above her cleavage. Andy took a long look at her. _Wow_ she was wearing _the blue one_. He loved that dress, short enough (or not long enough) and he grinned inside as he observed her rather generous neckline that revealed just enough when she leaned over her desk. He had to turn his eyes away when he noticed the rest of the team unconsciously lingering there blinking. He couldn't tell whether it was the color that suited her or her who suited the color. He couldn't be objective, but it was the undeniable truth that she was gorgeous, sexy and classy no matter what she wore. He noticed her eyes were slightly puffy and her make up a little thicker so as to camouflage it, but her gaze was still radiant, "Hey, you look..._fine,_" he said, grinning. His palms were up and his head nodding.

"Well, you too," she replied, her voice sultry and teasing.

His lips curved, eyes closing partially but still looking at her – glancing at her legs – as he nodded his head, "You rock, Captain." She giggled in response.

At their arrival together, her giggling and clenching his arm as if needing to steady herself as laughs shook her body, the team looked up at her in bewilderment. Provenza's eyes widened, his mouth falling open, and his voice shouting "Good morning, Captain!" in the desperate attempt to distract the team from the sight of Sharon giggling like a young girl and Andy with his chest swelling with pride whilst looking at her found himself now to be the object of the team's bewildered stares, due to the cheerfulness of his voice and swiftness of his movement while standing. The aim was achieved, and he turned to them, his body language screaming, _so what?!_ This caused everybody to return to what they were doing before the Captain's arrival with Flynn. Sharon couldn't hide her surprise at such a warm welcome, especially from Provenza, and she stopped giggling as if struck. She turned to look at him, she gazed with her mouth open and eyes wide, her shock mirrored by Andy's bewildered frown and shaking head.

"Mrs. Raydor?" a tall young boy wearing glasses entered the murder room with a clipboard, "Uh, yep, Mrs. Sharon Raydor?" the boy repeated, lifting his eyes from the board.

"That's me."

"You've got a package. Sign here, please." The boy handed her the board, a finger on the where she had to sign. Taking the board back he handed her a large rectangular yellow-brown envelope and said, "For you." "Oh…thanks." Sharon's brows arched as the boy mock-saluted and left. Once more, Sharon was the object of everybody's attention.. Sharon turned the envelope, almost a package actually and recognized Jack's writing at once. She doubted it had to do with their thirtieth wedding anniversary, but why was Jack sending her mail? Generally he called or left letters for her. Sharon swallowed, eager to get it open but apprehensive of her team's stares, "Excuse me," she said, curving her lips and letting her eagerness show. She turned, reached her office and shut the door behind her, reaching for the blinds and whipping them shut. Then she turned away from the blinds, her eyes fixated on the envelope in her hands.

After thirty-nine minutes and forty-seven seconds there had been no sign of her yet and the team had begun to exchange worried glances, their lips pursed and their brows high. Andy suddenly jolted up like the cork of a champagne bottle, and dashed to her door. He knocked with his forefinger middle knuckle.

"Yes?" Andy tilted his chin down, releasing a little breath at the sound of her raspy voice attempting to regain control and opened the door quickly, entering rapidly and shutting the door immediately behind him as though he wished to preserve the intimate space she had created. Sharon had her back turned to him and was leaning back in her chair, looking outside her window but not really looking at the city. He noticed that her glasses were on her desk, laid across an open folder. Glancing at it, Andy started – he recognized that colour, having seen it one too many times. The light blue frame of the official stationery was a dead giveaway. Was it possible that Sharon-? He swallowed hard, his mind and heart telling him that despite everything she had been through with Jack, this was going to be very hard for her. Jack had filed for divorce. He cleared his throat, "Sharon?" She didn't move or make a sound, silence filling the space between them. Andy tried again, feeling like an intruder, "Sharon, if you need a friend, know I'm there for you." He saw her nodding silently, and his heart sank as he turned and reached for the doorknob.

"Andy," she murmured her voice soft but steady. He turned to her and she looked at him, swallowing as she knew that he already knew having glanced at the folder again. She briefly pressed her lips together, breathing in through her nose. He noticed her lower lip and cheeks trembling now, her usually expressive eyes blank, "hold me." Her voice trembled as she pleaded with him. He jumped forward, grabbed the back of her arms and lifted her tiny trembling body, stopping only to pierce her eyes with an intense look so as to communicate the strength of his love for her. He pulled her into his body, wrapping his arms and whole body around her frame, her body desperately needing to be held together as she broke down.


	7. ROLLERCOASTER Chapter 7

**ROLLERCOASTER**

Chapter 7

**by Stands With A Fic - Cami**

**Hey everyone thanks for your support! Please review and keep on reviewing! At present I'm writing chapter 19. My gratitude goes also to my wonderful, skilful and patient Beta CMemlovr!**

She tore his last letter to pieces without even opening the envelope and was aware that this meant that it was over, once and for all. Though she might still be married to him, and her vows meant something to _her_, their relationship had finally reached its end. Andy didn't quite understand but he respected her decision. Somehow, he had begun to think of Jack as Sharon's excuse not to date other men. He wondered now if she would ever be free. Of course, she was about to get a divorce and be free of Jack, but Andy thought that this might actually make her less open to new relationships, if that were even possible.

Sitting on her couch as Sharon bathed; Andy couldn't help but feel somewhat strange. He had offered to remain with her but knew that he had to take it very slowly and had respected her need for a moment to herself. Having read the letter attached to the divorce documents, Andy felt odd. He hadn't expected Jack to be so tender – to be in love with her still, after all these years of separation. Andy felt idiotic. Of course, if Sharon could accept his fickleness then something deeper other than their children surely united them – something that involved only them. As he read it, Andy realized this fact, and knew that Jack made blatant references to the letter that Sharon hadn't read – perhaps even suspecting it:

_Sharon, _

_My dear and only love_

_As I wrote previously, I am deeply impressed by the woman you have become – by the way you welcomed Rusty and live independently. I am incredibly aware of the mess I have caused in your life and the lives of our children, and I know now that I don't deserve you. I understood the last time that we were together that things between us are not as they should be. I felt I am an intruder and for the first time. I have never been good for you, that much is clear to me now, but I know that you still love me too. I know that you have only ever asked me to be there for our children, and that you banned me from your heart and bed a long time ago because I've hurt you too many times to count. I took your dependency and our relationship for granted. So, I'm giving you the only real act of love I have ever committed – I'm letting you go, Sharon. I hope someday we can share good times again, but until then, you're free, my love._

_Forever Yours,_

_Jack_

The actual 'act of love' was divorcing her – allowing to live her life freely- her link with him legally cut. In doing so, he had also drawn and signed a document stating that all of the goods and properties were hers as compensation for the emotional distress he had caused and neglect he'd inflicted upon her and the children. Andy had to admit that, even though it was about time Jack paid back what was rightly Sharon's, the mere fact that he was actually doing it was a credit to his character. Andy felt uneasy as he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know the state of Jack and Sharon's relationship now. Jack had left the scene with a bang, and Andy couldn't help but wonder how this would impact Sharon's life and emotional state. Somehow she had grown accustomed to Jack's fickle nature, and had even learned to draw strength from it. Sharon had become the woman Andy loved because of Jack's absence and (somehow) omnipresence in her life. Now he was gone –if not forever, at least for a good, long while – and would no longer be her husband. How would Sharon get used to being a single woman again? How would she react to remaining Captain Raydor, but no longer Mrs. Raydor? Andy grew scared for her and the state of their relationship. They had agreed before to just be friends, however Andy now had to deal with the concept that he might lose Sharon permanently if the divorce had any long-standing emotional repercussions on her. However, it occurred to him that he might be worrying to much about it. After all, Sharon is a strong woman who became the person she is despite her husband. Whatever happened next, Andy was determined to be there for her no matter what. So, she had better prepare herself for his constant presence, because he wouldn't leave her – not when she's so fragile.

Sharon appeared in the living room with a tired smile, too tired for anything except him. Andy knew this and was grateful that she still had time for him. As she walked in, Andy noticed that she looked so small – her body was tiny in her white sweater and black leggings. Barefoot, she strode in; face bare of makeup and glasses, and her hair dark and dripping. She sat beside him, her grace and gentility causing him to rapidly draw breath. There was something about her, something that emanated from her skin from inside of her that made her look young, innocent – fresh, despite her maturity as an intelligent and canny woman. Andy realized once more that was what made her unique, she was - in every expression, look and gesture - the continual harmonic fusion of opposing concepts that somehow found their place in her. She could look serious and welcoming, coy but unreserved, awkwardly elegant; calmly seething…whatever she was made him crazy for her. Unique as she was, no man would ever be able to deserve her fully, and Andy thought that maybe, she might have realized this too – not through any feelings of superiority, but rather because she simply was.

His arm flung outwards from his side, welcoming her into his side before wrapping his arm around her, his other hand cupping her cheek, "Andy, you'll get wet," she said, referring to her hair already dripping on his shirt and chest. He shrugged uncaringly, and her head rocked above his shoulder. Looking up at him, he turned to meet her gaze, searching her eyes for a hint of her feelings. In her eyes, he found a tired calm, one that came with an awareness of her new situation – or perhaps even pure denial? "I'm fine," she said, answering his silent question with a tiny smile.

"Really?" He raised his brows, tilting his chin downwards slightly.

Nodding her head, she replied, "Totally bewildered, but fine."

"You should rest now," he replied in a rough whisper, grinning, her wide green eyes scanning his. She wore no makeup but he could see no wrinkles, only the green sweetness of her childlike eyes.

Sighing, she said, "I'm not feeling sleepy, but I guess it's the adrenaline." He raised his eyebrows, surprised at her self-awareness but still conscious of the fact that her reaction to the news still had to come. "But you'll probably want to rest, so please feel free to leave." She looked at him almost bashfully, the realization that he might need sleep hitting her.

But Andy took her words to mean that she didn't want to be alone, "You won't be rid of me that easily," he said with a wink and she smiled and closed her eyes.

"Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." He kissed her forehead.

Andy spent all his time with Sharon. When working together, they were Captain Raydor and Lieutenant Flynn, but at home (his or hers) they were just Sharon and Andy. He had long since learned that in order to be there for Sharon he had to keep a respectable distance; to gauge her mood by body language and facial expressions. She very rarely asked for help or consolation, but he knew that she was aware of his attentiveness; that he would decipher any changes in look or posture and would be ready to bridge the distance between them in a heartbeat. Sharon was glad to have his support but couldn't tell beyond that how much he truly meant to her. Nevertheless, now that she had fully experienced the shock of her divorce, she was slowly gaining awareness of his constant presence and support. She realized that she had become somewhat central to his life, and now felt guilty for consuming so much of his time. Having assumed that Andy acted this way due to their friendship, she now realized that he was always there due to his love for her. Frustrated, she couldn't see how she could have possibly missed this. They had spent every day of the last six weeks together! It annoyed and surprised her that she hadn't noticed it before. His presence was consistent, and shifting when necessary. He was always cheerful around her, joking and making life easier for her, but always caring and sensitive. She had noticed this on the (now more frequent) visits to his apartment, and had often spent the night with him. The following morning they would return to Sharon's condo to allow her to change. When he met Nicole and his family, Sharon had always been invited too, and up until present, had always accepted the invitation with the knowledge that he needed her there with him. Rusty was also living his life freely - though always under Sharon's watchful but discreet eyes - sleeping away from home very often and getting ready to leave for College. This fact had made Sharon more appreciative of the presence of another, which she could freely admit to herself now. However, a new realization dawned on her; she could not continue to allow Andy to center his life on her. As his friend, she had a moral obligation to show him that what he had been doing was unhealthy. But how? How could she do it and not hurt him, after everything he had done for her? She considered that, perhaps, sparing his feelings was not a viable option, despite knowing that Andy often grew hostile and enraged when hurt. Still, she had to try. She would take it one step at the time.

Andy was sipping on his burning coffee, looking at Sharon through its steam. She was up to something. Sharon met his piercing gaze, her expression inviting him to speak. Instead, he offered her a smile and a wink. He was up to something. Sharon's mind felt naked before his inquisitive eyes. She mentally prepared herself to speak to him, there and then. '_Here we go,' _Andy thought, observing the way she folded her hands together on the breakfast table whilst tilting her head slightly to the side and pressing her lips together, eyebrows raised - subtle and quick movements that Andy was all too familiar with.

Sharon lips parted and she released the breath she had been holding, "Andy," he pursed his lips slightly, "I was thinking..." he didn't make a sound as he waited patiently for her words, she wet her lips "we've spent a lot of time together recently," her voice sounding soft and yet raspy "and, you know I really appreciate that you've been around for me – y'know here, and, with me…" _'Around?' _She rolled her inner eyes at herself, he wasn't a dog! Andy's eyelids closed partially and his lips curved in a smile, he'd understood - she was recovering fully from the shock and asking for more space. Strange, it hurt him but relieved him too. He had found her with her eyes puffed on some mornings after hearing her sob in the night. He had been tempted to go into her bedroom to lie down beside her and hold her tight, but he knew that he didn't have the right to be in her bed. So he had waited for her to stop, standing beside the door, his back against the wall, rubbing his forehead and passing his fingers through his hair cursing Jack Raydor – the moron. She would fall asleep, and he would simply walk over to her, looking down at her, often caressing a strand of her dark mass of hair. If he heard her sigh he would sit on the edge of her bed, kiss her temple or forehead and ask her, "You alright?" bringing her a glass of water. Her life had been chaos since joining Major Crimes, and with Rusty and the letters – the trial and her husband – their friendship had been pivotal in the intimacy they now shared. At times, this seemed to scare her, particularly with her divorce on the horizon. And now here she was, sitting in front of him trying to find the nicest words to express her appreciation and simultaneous need for space.

Sharonstopped her speech, stiffening at Andy's sincerely amused smile. Andy immediately reacted to the change in her demeanor, "You want me to be around a little less, don't you?" he grinned and Sharon's face relaxed, opening into a sincere smile as she started giggling, nodding her head slightly with her palms flat on the table, her chin down. She looked up at him, muffling her laughter and shaking her head. Andy let out a thunderous laugh - seeing her attempt to staunch her laughter always made him crazy - she was so cute and breathlessly hot. '_There!' _He thought with satisfaction – he had found another contrast that harmonized so perfectly in Sharon. A tiny strand of her hair dangled from her lower lip, and seeing her eyes, Andy thought they looked somewhat…wild. Andy gulped; he had never seen that stare in Sharon's eyes before, at least, not in such an intense hue. He had seen her wild stare while interrogating criminals - and even addressed to him in couple of occasions when he had yelled at her - but _that stare _bore no hostility, irritation or offense. It was just…wild. Sharon's forest-green eyes widened, looking away from his dark pools and landing on her cup – which she grabbed and sipped as though it were necessary to her self-control and composure. It took Andy a couple of minutes to recover from the shock of what he thought he had seen in Sharon's eyes. Then, hoping to stabilize the atmosphere, he said, "Provenza will be glad to have me back," with a forced smile. Seeing Sharon's grateful expression as recompense for his efforts, he continued, "he's invited me out for dinner at least a dozen times but I've always told him I couldn't so, I suppose he's going to have a field day with questions about what I've been doing all this time – but I guess that's just the price I've gotta pay," Andy's grin became sincere once more, and he had to admit that he had missed his best friend. And even though Sharon was his priority, he found himself glad at the idea of meeting up with Provenza.

Sharon looked relieved to see Andy smiling at the thought of his dearest friend, and grinned widely, "Ok then, the deal is sealed." She found herself surprised at her haste to add, "Of course we will see each other any other time and you are always welcome here." and at her desire for Andy's returned reassurance.

"Oh sure, I mean, Rusty's bedroom will be vacant soon!" '_Idiot' _he thought as he realized that he had said the wrong thing when he saw Sharon's slight pout.

She smiled vaguely before replying, "Yes, he is a young man now," with a sigh, pride and pensiveness pervading her tone. Refocussing her eyes on his face, she tucked a rebel strand of hair behind her ear and smiled back at Andy.

That night, Andy spent three hours answering Provenza's torrent of questions, half-utterances and half-insinuations about what the heck he'd been doing for six weeks. He hadn't said a word about Sharon however, because it wasn't his business to discuss, and he closely guarded her secrets as their friendship became more intimate and comfortable. He was able to see through her – to understand her without the need for words. She accepted him the way he was, never judging him for his hot temper and... Now that he actively considered it, his temper had all but disappeared in her presence. She had the power to make him feel comfortable and content in any situation and he had first noticed this ability at Nicole's wedding. Not only she had soothed his unease by offering him smiles and warmly patting his chest and arms, but he had noticed that peace tended to follow her. She had mesmerized every person invited to the wedding with her grace and loveliness.

Later that evening, Sharon's phone buzzed. Partially shutting the book and using her forefinger as a bookmark, she checked her latest text message: _Now I can spend at least another six weeks without Provenza! _ Sharon giggled and fired back a reply.

Andy checked his messages and found Sharon's reply: _Then you will have to provide many more answers. _Grinning widely, Andy shook his head before texting her again: _Or I could create a few stories about me and a certain Captain… _Andy smiled at the thought of the awkwardness and righteous indignation Sharon was sure to display. Checking her phone, Sharon allowed her breath to puff out her cheeks before letting it all out in one giggle, "Andy, Andy, Andy," she sang his name teasingly. But, as "_Goodnight, Sharon. I miss you," _flashed up on her screen, she found it harder to breathe. In fact, she found that she had missed him too, but it wasn't something she wanted to feel, so she replied: _See you tomorrow. Goodnight. _

Andy really missed Sharon. He had practically lived beside her for six weeks and they had been the best weeks of his life. Now he shared a few dinners with her at the most, and had coffee every morning at the office – while they were always alone on these occasions, it could hardly be said that they had acted as intimate friends. Though aware of the attitude he had to maintain at work as a respectful subordinate officer, after four weeks, Andy couldn't repress the sentiment of mixed feelings he had been receiving all the while. He had tried to talk to Sharon privately but hadn't been successful. They had been interrupted dozens of times, and the last time, Andy had leveled a murderous glare at Julio, who had knocked on the door to announce the arrival of Judge Levine in the squad room. It also seemed to Andy that murder victims seemed to have a knack of appearing every time the opportunity to talk to her arose. They spoke each and every night before going to bed, but he hadn't had the courage to tell her he missed her on the phone. He needed to look into her eyes and tell her in person, so gauge her reaction. He felt depressed and dumb too. Once more he remembered his resolution on never let her go but he now understood that she had to seek him out, as he had no power over her. Not that he wanted such a power, especially when she seemed fine- with or without him. However, he guessed that Sharon had always been by herself, and had probably learned to like it. She really didn't need anybody at all when she was her own company. Andy felt ashamed at the thought that a part of him missed the nights when she was still sobbing at night, because it meant that she needed him. He remembered the second night he had spent at her apartment after the documents for the divorce had been filed. In order to make his sleep more comfortable, she had taken some sheets, a blanket and a pillow and approached the couch to make it more like a bed for Andy. While approaching the couch, her expression had become upset, but she had continued to make the bed anyway. Stopping, she leaned on it motionless, a hand on the back cushion and one on the arm rest. Head tilted downwards and her body shaking, her hair had dangled in front of her face, covering the tears that had threatened to fall. He had reached for her arms, holding first her wrists and then her hands while pulling her up. Sweeping the hair from her face as tears silently filled her eyes, he cupped her cheeks gently, his thumbs resting atop her chin.

"Hey…it's alright, Sharon," he had murmured in a low, warm voice. Her eyes shone through her tears, glad to see the trust in Andy's. "I'm here," he had continued as she smiled, blinking her tears away and causing them to run down her cheeks, mingling with the hair on her neck.

Andy was miserable. He didn't want her to feel weak or distressed, but he felt as though there was no place for him in Sharon's life anymore. Of course, she was always there if he needed her, but the problem was that he didn't need her – he wanted her to need him. And she only needed to be left alone.

Sharon entered the murder room, ready to leave. She stopped at the sight of a pensive Andy, tilting her head to the side and narrowing her eyes thoughtfully.

"Andy?" He turned his attention to her, returning his thoughts to the present.

"Sharon," he choked. Her hand rested on his shoulder, and before she could ask him if everything was okay, he shot up and asked, "Going home?" She nodded her head in affirmation, so he continued, "Want a little company?"

"Oh...actually -" she started.

"You're hosting," He uttered.

"One guest," she refined.

Andy heart sank and he prayed that it wasn't a date, "Oh..."

Sharon saw him torn between whether or not he should ask. She resolved to ease his suffering by saying "Judge Levine." Andy mind shrieked, '_Judge Levine, judge damn Micheal John Levine, former semi-professional football player, divorced, and a notorious womanizer._'

"Judge Levine's coming to your apartment?" Andy squeaked, his eyes wide.

"Yees…?" Sharon answered, her brows raised, voice calm.

"Sharon! Judge Levine in your apartment! He_'s -_ he's," Andy panted.

"He's a professional coming to my house to discuss the possibleissues due to my divorce. Andy, breathe... your blood pressure!" Sharon was rubbing his chest to massage Andy's heart and prevent any damage, remaining calm and composed.

"Sharon! You don't know that man!" Andy stood up, shaking with rage, but stopped horror-struck before asking uncertainly, "You don't know him, do you?" His eyes narrowed at the memory of Julio announcing the Judge's arrival in her office a few weeks prior. Sharon opened her mouth, eyes opening wider, an image forming in her mind.

"Well, if you're asking me whether we've already met, then yes, we have." Sharon said, her voice calm but her gaze warning him not to push any further.

"Sure you did!" Andy spat, "You were so busy with your divorce issues these past few weeks, and the Judge, well…weren't you?" Sharon looked aghast at his accusation. "Tell me, Sharon," he spat her name, "is your _professional _good at dealing with _your _divorce issues?" He sounded venomous and he knew it, but his rage had overtaken him, despite knowing that he didn't have the right to treat her this way. After all that they had shared he didn't understand how she could possibly –

"I'm afraid that this is _none_ of your business, Lieutenant," she said, her voice becoming Raydor's steady, metallic, low and yet audible voice. "Good night," she added, turning to stride away.

Andy let himself fall back into his chair, head reclining and his hands on the top of his head, rubbing his face as he breathed slowly and deeply. He was supposed to go home now that all the others had hours ago. And only now did he understand that he had remained to punish her for living her life without him. But in no way she had ever intentionally been cruel to him, nor had she ever given him a hint that she wanted anything more than friendship. He had to find a way to apologize. No, he had to find the way to make her forgive him. At least he had something to keep himself busy at on what would be a sleepless night regardless.


	8. TENDER IS THE NIGHT Chapter 8

**TENDER IS THE NIGHT**

Chapter 8

**by Stands With A Fic - Camima**

**Did you see S3 promo? And Andy and Provenza's promo ''Sharon-Sharon-Sharon-Sharon''? OMG Shandy is in the air! Thanks everyone for your encouragement! My utmost gratitude to my Beta CmemLovr!**

Andy walked down the corridor leading to Sharon's apartment, hands in his pockets, chin down and lips pursed, attempting to determine how he was going to apologize to her and gain her forgiveness. He could think of nothing more than saying _'I'm so sorry' _but it wouldn't be enough. Shaking his head in frustration, he just couldn't seem to find the right words to express himself adequately to her. He stood motionless before her door. Then, taking a deep breath, he half-pursed his lips before releasing it and raising his fisted hand to knock on her door.

Before he could, however, he heard Sharon's voice urgently saying, "Please hurry up, honey! Or I'm going to be late!" Andy's heart and hand stopped. He felt as though he were frozen in place as his stomach twisted. Seven o'clock in the morning and she was still entertaining her guest? Had she entertained her guest, the _professional _Judge all night?! Suddenly, Andy's good, peace-seeking intentions fled in the face of his rage. He couldn't bear it - what was he doing there? He had to leave – now!

The door whisked open and Sharon jolted away from it in surprise, exclaiming, "Andy?!" She stopped, and drew herself up, looking at Andy with rounded eyes over the rim of glasses that had slid down her nose slightly with her sudden movement. For a beat, she forgot that she had been angry with him, but as she remembered, her eyes narrowed with irritation and her face stiffened.

"Hey-Hi," Andy started, his inner voice congratulating him sarcastically for such a stellar opening, then awkwardly smiled at her, eyes on the knot of her blouse, feeling ridiculous. What could he say?

"What brings you here, Lieutenant?" The Captain's façade had returned.

"The desire to talk to you, Captain." It became clear to Andy that this would be a conversation of ranks rather than friends, and a hint of surrender glinted in his eyes. After what appeared to be a never-ending silence, Sharon replied, "Then you'll have to do so in my office, as that is where I'm currently headed." She gave him a cool stare as if to say, _'Well? What did you expect?' _Andy internally scolded himself, glad at least that she was talking to him.

"Sharon, please..." her eyes narrowed slightly, nostrils flaring.

"Rusty! Honey, you've got to hurry up if you want me to drop you off at the airport! It's getting late!" Her voice had risen, and her head jerked in his direction quickly, her hair whipping behind her. Andy was puzzled by this, and was unsure of whether he should expect peace (finally) or another shock.

"Rusty?"

The teenager appeared in the doorway and replied "Hey Andy, what's up?"

"Hey Rusty, how are you? It's good to see you, kid." Andy patted Rusty's back as he entered the corridor with his bag, nodding as Sharon pulled the door behind her and turned to lock it. Following them closely, Sharon hurried them down the corridor, practically on tip-toes with frustration. Andy couldn't help being amused at the sight of her. At the same time, his heart melted slightly at the sight of her tender gaze, constantly watching her son, who had not yet mastered the frantic and graceful movements for which she was renowned. Rusty sped up to keep her pace and Andy followed suit.

"I came back for a couple of days. Last night, Judge Levine came for dinner and Sharon introduced us. He's a real divorce guru – anything to do with inheritance matters and -" Rusty paused, watching Andy's gaze linger on Sharon's lower back, his eyebrows raised. Rusty's eyes rounded as he stopped in his tracks, stunned, and tried to repress the grin that had begun to surface. Much to Andy's delight, Rusty's sudden lack of movement caused Sharon to stop too. Rolling her eyes, she reached back to him, grabbed the handle of his bag and half-pushed him to continue.

"Ru-sty," she huffed, her movements mirroring the irritation in her voice. Turning, Sharon continued to walk in front of them at a hurried pace, and Andy's eyes followed each of her movements.

"…and that's why Judge Levine danced naked on the table singing _Don't Judge Me,_" Rusty concluded with a mischievous grin as he waited for Andy's reaction. None came, however.

Andy turned to Rusty and asked in a whisper, "Hey, kid. You don't mind taking the stairs, do ya? I have a serious…confidential thing to discuss with Sh- the Captain." Rusty indicated silently that he wouldn't mind, and Andy thanked him profusely before speeding off after Sharon. She would have to listen to him now, without the distraction of a possible hundred interruptions to their privacy. Sharon entered the elevator, immediately followed by Andy who jabbed the down button. Sharon's eyes widened as she looked between Andy and Rusty, who was now waving at her from the entrance to the stairwell. "So," Andy started as Sharon rolled her eyes and flashed him a threatening look, her arms firmly folded and her gaze irate enough to melt metal. Andy smiled slightly, amused by her frown. He remained silent for a while, grinning internally when her side-long gaze reached him, almost encouraging him with its petulance. "Sharon, I know that I'm an idiot and I'm so sorry. Please, please, forgive me." He waited for her to say something but she remained motionless and silent. He steeled himself and tried again, "Sharon," he implored, reaching for her arms. He grabbed them, turning her to face him and smiling tenderly at her awkwardness. Her hair fell gently, conjuring the best images in his mind. "I really need to talk to you," he finished, eyes piercing hers pleadingly. Andy saw the ice in her eyes melt, the irritation and stiffness in her gait fading. Sensing the opportunity, Andy continued, "I'm an asshole - a complete idiot! I was jealous. I didn't have the right to be, but Sharon, I could only think that you -" eagerness showed on her face as she watched him expectantly.

"I?" she asked, her face relaxing into a neutral expression. It was time he told the truth.

"You deserve so much – infinitely – better." He blushed lightly, feeling somewhat shy as he turned his gaze downwards before meeting her sweetly frowning face again. "Sharon, I miss you," he said, his voice a low and raspy whisper.

She smiled gently at him, her brow still furrowed, and cupped his cheek with her palm, "Oh, Andy." She was attempting to stifle her bitter chuckles whilst shaking her head slightly. She had tried to push him away, intending to do so for his own good, making him miserable instead. He wanted to protect her and had missed her friendship and company. She realized that she had distanced herself too much, even if she hadn't done it purposefully. On top of it all, she had missed him too!

"You're not mad?" Andy asked, thoroughly abashed. His eyes widened and his lips parted as she shook her head with a sincere smile.

"You?"

Andy's brows shot up into his hairline as his jaw slackened. Eyes shining brightly, he smiled widely as his head tilted aside, shaking slightly. Pulling her into the warmest and rib-crushing hug Sharon had ever received, Andy placed his chin atop her hair.

Sharon arrived in the murder room from the corridor in front of her office. Slowing to a stop, she turned to her left to bid the rest of the team Good morning. As she halted, she caught Provenza and Tao exchanging meaningful grins.

"Good morning, Captain," Buzz said, clearing his throat. He desperately chewed his lips, but his eyes gave away the grin he was attempting to stifle. Sharon's eyes narrowed as she scanned the squad room, and Amy smiled fondly at her dreamily. She was completely thrown, however, by Julio's intense gaze, a slow grin appearing on his lips.. Sharon hands landed on her hips now, lips parting to speak before deciding that she'd rather not know. Walking away, she raised her brows slightly, her lips pursed.

"Ooooh!" the team heard as she entered her office. Provenza nodded his head with an amazed frown – Julio was almost sick at the sight - whilst Tao and Buzz nodded and grinned and Amy placed her hands against her cheeks in a fond smile. Sharon peered awkwardly out of her office, hair falling gently, watching as everybody pretended that they hadn't heard before disappearing back into her office. Turning to look at the roses that filled her office with their thick perfume, she reached for the single one that had fallen onto her desk. Feeling the eyes of her team on her through the glass partition, she withdrew her hand as though burned and breathed out, hands shoved into her pockets as she made to shut the blinds.

Andy entered the murder room smiling, bidding the rest of the team a good day. The team stared at his in astonishment, and Provenza's jaw dropped at the sight of Andy in a truly _good mood. _Carrying two coffees, Andy strode into the Captain's office, entering after he heard her muffled 'Come in!'. Provenza rolled his eyes at the sound of Andy's ''Sharon'' -in reply, the rest of his words mercifully muted by the door he kicked shut behind him.

"Hey! What's happened in here?" he asked, wrinkling his nose at the overwhelming scent of the flowers that scattered her office floor, giving the room the appearance of having been struck by a cheesy tornado. "Andy." Sharon's face mirrored her emotional confusion at the sight of the flowers, and was almost shy of Andy's reaction to seeing them, fearful that he would grow jealous once more yet sorry for him.

"Jeez Sharon, how can you breathe in here?"

Sharon watched his reaction to the sea of flowers her secret admirer had sent her. Sure, he was using sarcasm, but he seemed to be taking it well and had showed no change in mood.

"Well...I think it's incredibly romantic and lovely," she said with a smile, uncertain if it was truly a pleasant gesture and astonished that anyone could send her such a gift.

"Really?" Andy continued his charade, "One more second in here and you'll faint!"

"Well, if I didn't at the stunning sight, I doubt the perfume will cause me to," she said, amused by Andy's boyish tactics as he approached her with open palms, his brow furrowed. Sharon sat at the edge of her desk, legs outstretched and crossed, arms gently folded. "If I do faint, however, I will make sure you catch me as I fall," she continued, her voice sultry. Andy's eyes lit up at Sharon's words. He felt deeply grateful –thrilled almost.

"Well, you've got it right, there," he said his voice low and raspy thick with emotion, "I will always be there for you, Sharon – always," he half-whispered, eyes intensely piercing hers. Her heart skipped a beat as she searched his glazed eyes, touched by the intensity of the emotions reflected in his gaze. He saw her lips part slightly and he watched her throat bob as she swallowed. She reached for his temple, her hand tangling in his short hair. As he drew nearer, she saw him swallow and his hands landed on her waist as his cheekbone landed on her forehead. His hands slid onto her back, entwining gently, "Sharon," he murmured, jaw against her temple and his hands rubbing between her shoulder blades, "I really miss you."

He pulled away to look into her eyes as she gently commanded, "Tonight. Dinner at my place." Her gaze was tender as she punctuated each word with a strike to his chest with her fingertip. There was no way he would dare to disobey such an order. Sharon felt reassured by the thought of sharing Andy's company, but was unsure of what to make of her feelings, and thus decided to ignore it. They both needed and wanted to enjoy the other's company without complications.

"Aye-aye, Captain," Andy joked as he entered Sharon's apartment carrying a huge brown bag and holding a Cabernet Sauvignon Blanc in one of his hands. Sharon giggled, happy to see him in a cheerful mood, and stepped aside to let him come in. Andy moved around her apartment confidently and she recalled the weeks he had spent there, smiling lightly. He looked at her winked and said, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? Don't think that I'll just let you stand there watching me!" Wiggling his eyebrows, he caused her to giggle helplessly, chest leaning forward slightly and hands on her hips. She followed him to the kitchen as he placed the bag onto the counter then turned to open her fridge to place the wine on the shelf. As Andy took off his coat Sharon watched him closely and, noticing this, he winked at her once more. Lips curled, Sharon grinned unashamedly as he winked at her again. She took his coat from him and put it on the back of a chair and, following suit, Andy removed his jacket and placed it on top of his coat. Grinning flirtatiously at Sharon, he loosened his tie before discarding it atop his jacket. Then, unbuttoning his waistcoat, he continued to flick open the buttons on his cuffs, roll up the sleeves, and unfasten the top buttons of his shirt. Hand darting into his bag, he reached in and pulled out a purple apron, _La Trattoria, L.A. C.A. _emblazoned in white writing, and the words _Let me whet your appetite _scrawled all over his chest and belly. Flapping it open, he pulled it over his head, grinning at Sharon's muffled giggles as she fastened it from behind. When she returned to face him, Andy smiled at her sincerely, spinning once to give her the full view before asking, "What do you think, Captain?"

"Ah, well, you look very…professional," she replied, clearly amused. Andy's jaw dropped dramatically in mock disappointment and he rolled his eyes as he said, "Come on, professional? And…?" he gestured towards her, encouraging her to say more.

"Umm..." she pretended to think deeply, her eyes narrow, "and..." she said in a soft voice, "good-looking?" She ended on a sultry note.

Andy frowned, "Is that a question? You don't seem convinced," he said with a shake of his head.

She pretended to frown, giggling madly with a hand on his arm, "Sorry! Sorry, Andy!"

"Yeah, sure you are," he said sarcastically, watching her amused face and replying with a mock expression of hopelessness. Sharon took a deep quick breath in to stop her giggles, and smiled sweetly at him. Her expression grew suspicious as he drew nearer and said, "I love seeing you like this – hearing you giggle." He shook his head fondly, and she bit her lower lip.

"I love it too. And it's all because of you, Andy." She whispered her voice and gaze sultry. He felt himself melt inside. Looking at her in surprise, she blushed as she realized that this was the first time she had ever expressed her awareness of how good he made her feel. Pursing her lips slightly, she knew that it was only him, and realized that with him she could just be herself. She could be Sharon, not Captain Raydor – she was not mom, friend nor colleague – just Sharon. He cleared his throat, feeling emotions clawing their way up his chest and he reached for her forehead, kissing her gently and smelling her hair.

Pulling away, he asked her lightly, "Are you ready?"

"Oh, I am _so _ready," she said, her voice a sultry and flirtatious purr.

Andy swallowed and grinned, picking up the eggplants from the brown bag and announcing proudly, "Parmigiana eggplants!"

Sharon rubbed her hands together eagerly, biting her lower lip as she grinned widely.

As they waited for the eggplants to bake Sharon washed the kitchen utensils, her back facing Andy. Setting the table, Andy returned to the fridge to grab the wine he had brought for Sharon.

"Oh no, it's not necessary, Andy. Please, don't bother," she said, her hand up in a pacifying gesture.

"Really? Are you sure, Sharon? I don't mind if you want to -" he said honestly.

"Oh, I know, but it's alright. Thank you, though. I'll just have what you're having if that's -"

"Okay with me? Sure!" he replied, returning the wine to the fridge. When he looked at her again she was drying a knife and Andy could see her smiling cheerfully. He smiled fondly, his arms folded and his shoulder leaning against the fridge door. Sharon tilted her head, and watched him with intrigued eyes and a smile. He looked at her in her blouse with dreamy eyes and he remembered the first time he saw her in that blouse. It was 2011 and she was looking for the mole in Major Crimes – she had created a rumor that she would be retiring to take a position as the Security Chief Inspector for the City Hall in order to do so. She had entered the murder room gracefully, walking over to Chief Johnson with her hips and shoulders winging gently, her long, soft auburn hair cascading above her collarbones. She'd been wearing the blue and green semi-transparent blouse and her black pencil skirt that fell just above the knee. Her steps had been resolute but, as always, indelibly graceful. Turning her jade eyes towards him, she looked at him slightly awkwardly as he grinned at her fondly, pleasantly surprised by her arrival as he unashamedly checked her out. Stunned by his reaction, she had stopped talking completely, and for an impressive instant had seen him smile widely and sincerely at her. Recovering from the shock quickly, she had turned her eyes away once more, summoned by duty.

She was now looking at the knife and she blushed gently, her lips pressed together. Then she looked back at Andy, as if to check up on him but when their eyes met again she turned hers away.

"Hey," he said, responding to her uneasiness, "I can't help but admire you."

Smiling as she looked at him again, she replied, "Oh really? And why would that be?" she swallowed.

"Well…" he said as his mind plied him with an ode to her beauty, tenderness, class, grace and other feminine wiles, "the way you polish your cutlery is so -" he smiled. She turned to meet his eyes, a mock frown spoiled by the smile on her face as her awkwardness faded, unsure of whether she should be flattered or amused.

The oven dinged as Andy lit the candles on the table. Sharon moaned at the delicious aroma emanating from the oven, causing Andy to light up inside. He watched her bend over to grasp the tray, her shapely bottom pointed in his direction, and he swallowed and tried to seem disinterested by the sight of it.

"Now this smell is what you want to fill a room, not those awful flowers in your office," Andy said with a cheeky grin. Sharon jerked up from her position, turning to berate him with narrowed eyes.

Folding her arms, she approached him dangerously, "Lieutenant, I will not allow you to insult my flowers in that manner," she said as he continued to gaze at her lightly pursed lips. She poked him square in the chest with her forefinger, and he placed his hand on her waist.

"So, you really appreciated them, even if they were anonymous?"

"Of course I did, Lieutenant, they were lovely! And of course, it is nice to be the receptor of pleasant packages for a change," she said, suspicious of his odd behavior – a combination of uncertainty about his motives and genuine relief that she had appreciated the flowers.

"Well, yeah, I can see what you mean, Captain, but…you don't know who sent them," he said, his tone teasing.

"Actually," she countered, "I have a feeling that you're going to help me solve this case, Lieutenant," she said with a grin.

"Oh, well, anything for my Captain," he said mock-thoughtfully as he pursed his lips. "We should probably go over the evidence, then. Flowers but no card, so we don't know where they came from but were obviously addressed to you with the aim of winning your heart…" She nodded her head as he spoke, ticking off the 'evidence' on his fingers as he mentioned it. "Well, Captain, has anyone driven you mad lately? Behaved idiotically? Has anyone done anything that would warrant such an apology?" he asked with a slight pout. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"You?" she asked with a bewildered smile. He grinned openly as she spoke, "Oh Andy, that was so sweet of you!"

"Yeah, and something about it being lovely…"

"Oh, well, yes."

"And romantic…"

"Oh."

"Sharon, you said it."

"Well, yes, I guess I did."

"Sharon, there's nothing wrong with it," he said tenderly, "I meant for it to be a romantic, sweet gesture, what's wrong with that?" he asked, eager to understand.

"Andy," she started, releasing a breath, "there's nothing wrong with your intentions, but…your feelings -" she hesitated.

"Sharon, you're officially divorced now and we're so good together – we're friends, we like spending time together, and I feel amazing when I'm with you – only when I'm with you. I know you care about me as I do you, so, what's wrong?"

"Andy, stop. Please."

"What? Why? Please tell me why. What would be so wrong about taking a chance with me?"

"Oh, wh- taking a chance? Andy, what are you talking about? You want me to take a chance with you?" her voice began to rise as she became more uneasy, "I'm your Captain, Andy! There's so many ways that risking this, together, could impact our relationship, the balance of the whole team and, not to mention, the quality of our work! How could you possibly ignore the consequences?!"

"Seriously, Sharon? Come on! Give me some credit! We're not teenagers, okay?" he fired, then took a deep (hopefully) calmative breath. He wanted to understand and listen to what she thought too – he didn't want to push her away – to scare or hurt her. "Sharon," he continued in a low calm voice, "I respect you and I don't wanna push you into anything you don't want, but please, I need to understand. Is the fact that you are my Captain the _only _reason you don't want our relationship to progress?"

"Andy, this is a huge thing! It's a major change that could destroy everything we already have. Like you said, we're not teenagers anymore Andy, we have to think about consequences."

"Well, that's fine for you, but you don't know what I have in my life. You don't know how I feel about you, not really. The fact that I can't stop thinking about you? That shows me that I'm ready to take this risk. I miss you every moment that you aren't with me, and I cherish every moment you are, Sharon!" His gaze pierced through hers, voice thick with emotion and a tinge of desperation.

"Andy, please stop," she said, her voice breaking. He stopped and watched as she shivered delicately, his heart aching at the sight of her and at the thought that everything between them – friendship and all – might be over. He dreaded the thought of having to work with her every day and having to repress his feelings – to pretend that everything was alright when it wasn't.

"Andy, please. You promised – you promised me -" she said, her voice breaking as she pleaded with him. He had promised that he would never do her wrong, and to always be there as her friend.

With a sigh, he said, "Okay, hey – it's alright, don't worry. Come here." Wrapping his arms around her body, he rubbed her back as she cried silently her uneven breaths shaking his body, wishing that he could protect her from her fears and his feelings. Sharon pulled away to look at him, her eyes wet and lips parted at the sight of Andy's tears. Swiping his eyes with his thumbs, he composed himself before apologizing to Sharon, "I'm sorry, Sharon. I've scared and upset you when all I want to do is protect, hold and stand by you. You must understand though, that it is getting harder every day, and the only reason I can see for us to remain as we are is that you don't love me."

Sharon caressed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair, "Andy, I care for you and your friendship but I can't be more than a friend to you because you are a subordinate officer and I am your direct superior. That is why anything other than friendship is impossible."

Sharon felt sick at the sight of Andy's sadness and hated that she was the cause – her words sounding merciless even to her ears – knowing all the while that she wasn't being completely honest, either. Andy sighed and Sharon feared that he might leave. Swallowing, she said, "Andy, I would still like it very much if you would stay and have dinner with me, but if you don't feel like it, I understand." Her voice remained soft but steady, trying to prepare herself for his departure.

Andy shook his head and her heart sank, "I just need to know that I can speak my mind with you, if I need to."

"Oh, sure, whenever," she smiled tenderly at him, cupping his cheek gently and admiring the fact that he had respected her by showing that he truly loved her.

During dinner, Sharon tried to maintain light conversation and Andy tried to set her mind at ease. She knew how hard it was for him, but resolved not to push him away and to accept his decision to pull away if he needed to. At the thought of the latter, however, Sharon felt herself grow quite upset and scared. He knew how awkward, sorry and uneasy she felt and he just wanted to be strong for her, resolving that whatever the situation, he would not mention his feelings to her again, even if he needed to. Despite her wish for him to be honest. However, the will to remain together regardless of their feelings was mutual. After dinner, Andy felt that it would be better for him to go home and sleep that night, not because he was angry at Sharon, but because he just needed to be home. Despite understanding his intentions, Sharon couldn't help but feel sad. It became increasingly clearer to her as she tried (without success) to get some sleep that it wasn't just Andy she felt bad for. She was sad because he wasn't there with her, even if he did sleep in Rusty's room. Attempting to breathe calmly, she tried to accept this new realization. She had to be honest with herself, even if she couldn't be with him. She was his Captain and he her Lieutenant and a romantic relationship would break the rules. But then, why did she feel so upset? Was it because of him, or because she missed him? She got out of bed and fetched a glass of water that she barely managed to choke down. Barefoot, she stood on her balcony wearing a tint nightgown and no robe. She needed to feel the night air on her body to regain control of her mind and breathing. As far as she was concerned she had always had the control of her life and feelings and was used to having people needing, obeying and relying on her. She had always known how to behave in these circumstances. But now that she was alone – not obeying or even controlling herself anymore – she was upset and slowly surrendering herself to the fact that she needed him and didn't want to lose him. A hard shiver rocked her spine.

Andy didn't bother undressing himself when he returned home, he just sat at the couch, his head reclined and staring at the darkened ceiling, patches of light just visible from the window of his living room. He missed her and regretted leaving, but he felt that he needed to get used to her absence. She didn't want to be with him and he had to accept it. In spite of it all, he couldn't help but feel that Sharon hadn't been completely honest with him. There was more to it. He had noticed the change in the way she looked and smiled at him – in the timbre of her voice. But then, what did that mean? Did he have any chance to win her heart? If so, how? His phone buzzed in his pocket, '_Miss you' _read the , there was more. He felt a subtle warmth in his chest. For once, maybe he had to guide her – never pushing but just…guiding. He knew that he wouldn't fall asleep, though his inner voice tried to convince him otherwise. He replied, '_Miss you too.'_


	9. IT TAKES TWO Chapter 9

**IT TAKES TWO**

chapter 9

**by Stands With a Fic – Camima**

_**Showing Sharon's inner gamut of contrasting emotions is becoming each time trickier. My intent is to depict her in the most faithful and reliable way yet according to my perception of her on MC. Of course, 'my' Sharon isn't 'real' Sharon but rather depicts how I think she would respond to her feelings for Andy ;) Thanks everyone for following me and reviewing! Special thanks and my deep gratitude to my beta **__**CMemlovr**__** :)**_

"Good morning, everybody!" Sharon smiled kindly as she greeted her team, despite briefly flicking her eyes towards Andy's and lingering slightly on his gaze. "Chief Pope will be visiting out department tomorrow morning-" At this statement, eyes rolled simultaneously around the room, accompanied by huffs of breath and half-pouts as Sharon continued, "escorting the Mayor," Sharon pointedly ignored Provenza's sarcastic expression of elation, "who will be honouring us with his presence, eager to assist in whatever is done during a typical work-day. On top of that, he is also -"

"Eager to spy on us? To stick his nose in where it doesn't belong whilst asking idiotic, boring and irrelevant questions that will impede our work?" Provenza interrupted, his words searing as he bit them out.

"Admire our professionalism," amended the Captain, her eyes widening as her lips clenched in a mock-threatening expression, "so, today, we will all complete the reports on our desks and concentrate especially on professional thoughts so as to present ourselves admirably for our guest." She finished her speech by looking pointedly at Provenza with narrow eyes and folded arms, her voice a near hiss. Turning to her office, she took two steps before spinning back to the team again, "Oh, and please do not forget to wear your uniforms." Andy smiled as he remembered the times he had seen Sharon in her uniform, hair in a tight bun and with no heels or glasses. "Should you have any _questions _bear in mind that these are orders," she said, her voice steely. Arching her brows slightly, she the barest hint of a smile traced her lips and Andy looked at her with a grin, shaking his head as she entered her office and shut the door.

Soon after Sharon's speech, Chief Pope and Commander Taylor arrived, her door springing open with little preamble. As the two gentlemen sat in the chairs in front of her desk, she stood to shut the blinds, taking the time only to roll her eyes slightly at Andy through the glass. He smiled back at her, amused but attempting to be sympathetic at the same time.

Sharon called Provenza in a couple of times. She left her office once to collect some documents and bring them back to her superiors. The three of them left her office to spend their brief lunch time and the afternoon together in Pope's office, dashing Andy's already weak hopes to join her for lunch. As the afternoon gradually became evening, Andy felt somewhat irritated what with Sharon's absence from the squad room – and him. However, he tried to ignore these feelings and continued working steadily as his Captain had ordered.

Checking his watch, _6:57pm_, Andy let out a long breath. Only he remained in the squad room. Having pretended to have more reports to revise, Andy had stayed back, and Provenza had pretended to believe him. Minutes later, he stood up, ready to leave in search of Sharon under the pretense that he was going home. However, this would seem facetious, as Provenza had called the Captain earlier, asking whether or not the team had to stay any longer and she had asked that he turn on the speaker of his phone so that she could thank the team and allow them to leave, pardoning herself for not noticing the time. Remembering this, Andy opted instead to text her, taking a little more time to wait for her as he headed to the break room, typing as he walked. He turned the corner and lifted his eyes in time to see Sharon frowning at the open folder she held in her hands, striding purposefully without thought of direction since she had presumed she would be alone. Her eyes lifted from the folder a fraction too late, and she walked straight into Andy, the folder crashing into his phone and her body recoiling from the crash and falling backwards. Andy reached for her waist to prevent her from falling but merely ended up stumbling against her feet and following her to the ground.

"Oh my God, Sharon! I'm so sorry – are you alright? Did I hurt you?" he asked in rapid succession.

"I think I'm fine, Andy," she gasped, breathing hard with the weight of his body on her, "and you?" she asked, peering into his eyes. He gazed back, and they suddenly both realized their complete bodily contact. He looked at her appreciatively, unable to stop thoughts of her beauty from entering his mind as the tip of his nose almost grazed hers and he caressed a strand of her hair. Her glasses had fallen askew and lay against her right collar bone. He traced her face with his eyes, taking in the shape of her eyes and brows, the little wrinkles around her eyelids, her cheekbones and nostrils and the wrinkles under her nose and lips. Fixing his eyes on her hair line and forehead, he moved downwards to her eyelashes, counting the beauty marks that litter her face. He didn't want to miss a single detail. Returning to her mesmerized eyes, he heard her swallow and his lips parted as his eyes lingered on hers. Swallowing again, she blinked slowly. Suddenly, the elevator door opened and Taylor stepped out, shock crossing his features as he attempted to understand the sight before him.

"Lieutenant, I'm fine thank you!" Sharon almost shrieked as she pushed him aside and off of her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Captain!"

Andy was now on his feet, leaning down to the Captain, who was still planted firmly on the ground. Folding her glasses, Sharon allowed Andy to hoist her up by the elbows as Taylor watched them with a puzzled expression.

"Lieutenant, it's alright really. I wasn't watching where I was going – completely my fault."

Andy continued the performance for Taylor's benefit by replying, "Uh- um, since you're here Captain, I was wondering whether you'd mind having a word…in your office?"

"Oh, of course not Lieutenant." Taylor continued to observe their exchange, his hand on his chin, brows arched.

"There are just a couple of details I want to clear with you before the Mayor's visit tomorrow," Andy continued.

Taylor's eyes betrayed his suspicion, but he ignored it for now and cleared his throat, "Captain – Lieutenant –Chief Pope has just received a phone call from the Mayor. Unfortunately it seems that he won't be joining us tomorrow as the Governor has requested his presence and has thus asked that we relay his sincere apologies."

Sharon's jaw dropped and her brow furrowed. Exhausted, she allowed her arms and shoulders to droop, releasing a long breath tiredly.

"What?!" Sharon heard Andy's raspy voice coming from behind her, indignant on her behalf. They had all worked tirelessly, scanning hundreds of damned reports, and she had spent all day in Pope and Taylor's company – seething. And now, that Mayor wasn't even coming? Irritated, Andy resolved to work the news to his own advantage, "Well then, Captain, I think we'd best inform the team."

"Certainly, Lieutenant," she replied, "please call Provenza, Tao and Sanchez. I'll contact Sykes and Buzz myself." Grabbing her phone from her blazer pocket, she headed towards the squad room. Turning to Taylor, she said, "Thank you, sir, and good night."

"Good night, Captain – Lieutenant."

Entering her office, Sharon removed her blazer as she reached her desk, wearily placing it over the back of the chair before promptly falling into it. Andy's eyes followed her every movement as he shut the door before moving to her side, his left thigh leaning against the edge of her desk. Looking down at her fondly, he watched as she reclined her head with a huff, leaving her neck entirely visible and her cleavage shining white against her black and white polka-dotted dress which gathered attractively around her breasts, making her chest more attractive and shapely. Moving behind her, Andy was followed by Sharon's suspicious gaze, which relaxed immediately as he placed his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging upwards to the back of her nape. Applying just the right amount of pressure, Andy heard Sharon moan slightly in relief, and continued to move his thumbs in small circles in the soft skin beneath her shoulder blades.

"Oh, Andy…where did you learn –ah- how to do this?" her voice was punctuated with moans, lips barely moving and eyes blissfully shut.

"Well, you know, it's a gift," he replied with an audible grin.

"Mmm, yeah, it is – to me." Andy could see a relaxed and mesmerized smile light up Sharon's features as she opened her eyes and whirled in her chair to meet his eyes. "Tell me, how can I…return the favor?" she asked, flicking her hair so that it landed mostly on her right shoulder as her eyes peered into his expectantly, voice soft. Andy felt conflicting emotions, but her question ignited the image of him yanking her away from her chair and wrapping himself around her, kissing her senseless.

"Let me have you," he paused with a sly grin at her shocked and somewhat amused expression, "over for dinner," he finished, eyebrows wiggling as he smiled sincerely, his voice flirtatious. Looking into his shining eyes, Sharon felt the breath leave her body, her pearl teeth hidden behind clasped lips and her eyes lingering on his features despite the rising blush in her cheeks and cleavage.

"Hmmm, vif if goov." Andy took some noodles from the take-out container with his chopsticks dangling them teasingly before Sharon's lips. She giggled at Andy's childlike enthusiasm as she slowly opened her mouth, eyes on his, feeling as though she were doing something naughty. He roared with laughter at her expression and she swallowed, smiling with amusement at his hearty laughter. Rising up onto her knees, barefoot, she pushed her cushion back into the couch so that she could sit more comfortably on the carpet. Then, sitting down again with her legs curled to the side and her knees pointing towards Andy, she poked at her food again. Andy sat beside her, his back against Sharon's couch and his feet bare. Above him, his jacket, waistcoat and tie lay abandoned on the back of the couch and his shirtsleeves were unbuttoned and rolled up, the top few buttons of his aquamarine shirt unfastened. Legs stretched out and crossed under the coffee table, Andy reached for another container before asking, "How's your tofu? Good?"

"Mmm-hmm," Sharon sang, slowly parting her lips whilst moving her chopsticks closer to her mouth, anticipating wrapping her tongue around the delicious morsel to savor it after such a hectic day. Andy felt his face and neck heating at the sight, arousal curling in the pit of his stomach and teasing his groin, eyes darkening for an instant. He felt like the wolf watching Little Red Riding Hood as he jerked onto his feet to fetch a glass of water, hoping to compose himself.

"Andy, are you alright?" Sharon asked, placing her hand on his quad. Internally, Andy screamed for Sharon to remove her hand and began to grow flushed. Associating his redness with his high blood-pressure, Sharon couldn't have known that she was close to the actual reason.

"I'm fine Sharon, just, something in my throat."

"Oh, better now?"

Andy's situation only worsened, as his words caused Sharon to kneel beside him, their knees and thighs touching. She was also still leaning across him, her plunging neckline not helping him in the slightest, one hand on his quad and the other on his chest. Desperately searching his mind for sad, miserable thoughts, he fixed his eyes on her concerned frown before glaring pointedly at the coffee table.

"I'm fine Sharon, really!" He heard himself say in a sharp and irritated tone, his eyes meeting hers. Sharon jerked away from him and sat on her heels, a hand on her thigh and the other defensively between them. Her head tilted to the side as her eyes widened in surprise and her eyebrows arched in disbelief. "Oh shit, I'm sorry okay?" Irritated, he realized that he didn't sound any better than he had before.

"Okay…I'll go make some tea," she said in a soft voice, puzzled and slightly hurt. Standing up, she went to the kitchen, flashing him an awkward look. Andy sighed and stood up to follow her, scolding himself the entire way. He found her with her back to him as she stood at the counter, moving the utensils and putting them back in tense movements. Andy smiled tenderly at the sight of her, guilt worrying the pit of his stomach as he released a long breath. Sharon stopped, sensing him behind her and turned slightly. Fetching the kettle, Andy approached her but she turned away to fill the kettle from the faucet. Appearing beside her, he caught the kettle as she turned and moved to fill it for her, his expression belying his sincere apologies as he wrapped his hands around the kettle, trapping her hands beneath his. Slowly, she slid her hands away from his, leaving him the kettle and causing his hands to quiver at the sliding touch. She had suddenly become aware of the unconditional and complex nature of their feelings. She knew it now and he could feel that she knew.

Andy filled the kettle in a lucid trance. Then, setting it down on the counter, he turned to face her. Sharon automatically picked it up and put it on the stove as Andy watched her beside him, feeling as though everything had become some sort of slow-motion scene. She took two mugs and placed them on the counter, then laid her palms on it. She felt his hip slightly touch hers. He felt her breathe in, her breast rising gently. She felt his fingers, hands and forearms slide against the outer side of her forearms, wrists and hands, and she watched as his forearms framed hers on the counter. Feeling her quiver, she heard him swallow hard before closing her eyes as his palms gently rubbed the back of her hands. His fingers curled and turned inwards, sneaking underneath her palms and turning them to face his to comfortably intertwine their fingers. Feeling Andy's warmth behind her and his body towering over her, she felt him release her hands and begin caressing her forearms up to her shoulders. Then, lifting her hair and smoothing it down onto her right shoulder, she felt his biceps against her arms. Andy breathed her in slowly, the scent of her skin and hair intoxicating as his nose gently grazed her jaw and neck, his hot breath on her collar bone. Sharon tilted her head slightly aside, her cheek caressing his. His hands rested on her arms, his body so close that it could not even be considered grazing. Not that Andy minded being so close, but he wanted her to feel his desire for her – his care and need to touch her intimately - not just his lust, his sexual arousal. His hands desperately grabbed her arms, and Andy soaked in the ecstatic feeling of Sharon's acceptance of him – her allowance of the breach of her armor. He was aware, however, that penetrating her armor did not mean destroying it, and was thus knew that he had to take it slowly with Sharon, who probably already considered this as moving 'fast'.

Andy pressed Sharon's arms so to make her turn and look at him. She looked into his eyes, her body trembling. He took off her glasses and put them on the counter, causing her to close her eyes as she anticipated his next move. Breathing deeply and slowly, Sharon felt him graze her slightly parted lips with his fingertips, cupping her cheeks and caressing her lower lip with his thumbs, causing her to gulp and release a breathy moan. He kissed her eyelids, she opened up her eyes her jade orbs becoming a dark emerald. He read her stillness as not wanting to encourage him, but not daring to move away, either. Clenching his jaw tensely, he realized that she would probably regret it, and so for her sake, he needed to control himself.

"Oh, Sharon – can't you feel it? Can't you feel how good it feels?" he whispered in a rough, longing voice as he caressed her hair, his gaze lingering on her eyes and moving down to her lips, neck and cleavage, unbelieving of the fact that she was in his arms and ready for him. Ready for their first kiss, if he had only dared to kiss, he felt as if he could hold her in the palm of his hand. Sharon shivered now, her eyes returned jade and were suddenly laden with something akin to horror. From her expression, Andy knew that she would fight her feelings.

"Can I feel it?" she asked, her voice icy and desperate, eyes firmly shut. Releasing her breath as she looked into his eyes, hers now wide, her voice rose and took an offended tone, "Can I feel it?!" Andy breathed in, gathering his strength to face the storm. "What do you want from me, Andy Flynn?!" She asked, almost shrieking as her voice broke on the last word.

"I don't want anything _from _you, Sharon. Nothing I know you don't want too, anyway." She was still, expectant. "I want to give myself to you – I want you to let me love you with all my heart," Andy answered tenderly and resolutely, surprised at his own calm. Sharon regarded him as though he had threatened her very life, and in part he knew that he had.

"It doesn't matter of what we want! The only thing that matters is what's right! We have a responsibility to that which is right!" she hissed at him.

"Sharon! When I'm with you, I know that it is _right._ I feel wonderful, and I want you to feel that too! We can't keep doing this, Sharon! We are meant to be together, and it's not only okay, but it is _right _and _good_!" Andy said as he ran his fingers through her hair, his voice rising in the heat of the moment, his feelings for Sharon firm and unmovable.

"Oh really? It might feel good and right now, but tell me, Andy, when it's over – how will it feel? Huh?" she demanded in a low and steady voice. Breathing in shakily, she continued, "Let me tell you how! It will feel awful and I'll be left to pick up the pieces again!" Tears shone from her eyes as her lips and chin trembled. Blinking away her tears, she added, "Only this time, I won't be able to put the pieces back together. I'm not as young as I used to be, Andy. I've fought my entire life – had to learn to live alone and be strong and independent. I've been through this so many times – every time that Jack came home! I can't take it anymore – I'm through!" Her voice shook but was firm. Andy kept his arms around hers as she struggled with the conflict of her feelings.

"Sharon, you're not through. I see it every time your eyes meet mine – I feel it every time we're together – our bodies always more eager to find a way, a pretext to get closer to one another. I know you…I know you want me like I want you, Sharon. Please, just trust me." Andy spoke as though his life was dependent upon his words.

"Oh, Andy, and how am I supposed to trust myself? How can I trust my feelings when I've been wrong so many times – hurt so bitterly by those I thought that I could trust? I'm safe now, even after everything I went through with the children. Everything I have now, I had to compromise for, always having to betray what I felt was good for what was right and necessary! I'm not complaining, but I can allow nothing to put all I have and am at risk!" Sharon released a deep breath, reclining her head to look fiercely into Andy's eyes, which had remained fixed on her face as she had talked. Andy nodded once, his hands still on her arms.

"Sharon, I'm not Jack. Just…trust _me_," he said matter-of-factly. She frowned and pouted, allowing him to hug her and surrendering to his calm. "I promise that I won't do anything you don't want me to," she heard him whisper in her ear. Closing her eyes, she sighed as her stiff body began to relax gradually, her heart rate decreasing. She trusts him.

The next day, Sharon thought of all that hadn't happened with Andy (but might have) the night before. The fact that he hadn't kissed her didn't negate his feelings for her. However, the fact that he had restrained himself because he really loved her did not make her feel safe. The thought crossed Sharon's mind frequently. The situation was now in her hands, but she didn't know why she felt so uncertain. Knowing that she and Andy could never be together, she didn't know why she couldn't just let him down and the thought of it made her feel vulnerable and uneasy.

Fortunately, Sharon had been able to keep up her professional demeanor at work, despite her awareness that she had avoided Andy on purpose all day. She was too much of a stickler to leave him out of investigations and interrogations and she didn't want him to suffer for her peculiar feelings. She had spoken to him normally throughout the day, but she had not asked specifically for him to join her for interviews.

Apparently however, Andy hadn't noticed a perceptible difference, and thought perhaps that her feelings had made her rather more sensitive to issues that were possibly not even issues at all. Mostly, she attempted to avoid being alone with him. She hadn't considered, however, that the rest of the team would be spectators to her awkwardness and open display of her intimate and private feelings and found the situation rather worse than before. Sharon was reminded of this as she entered the elevator to visit FID. Her presence had been requested by Captain Darcy (her replacement when she moved to Major Crimes) and she reached the elevator bank having stared at Andy's desk the entire time. Taking note that Provenza had noticed her behavior, she rubbed her tense neck and jaw before searching for her pockets.

Looking around, she scanned the squad room horizon as the elevator door opened behind her. Turning her back, she stepped into the elevator, pressing the floor number for FID at the same time. Suddenly, Andy stepped in beside her. In a moment of cluelessness, Sharon looked up in a neutral expression, then started at Andy's grinned wink and took a step back (out of the elevator) and into Tao's open palms, her ass colliding rapidly with them. Upon realizing that he had effectively just spanked his superior officer, Tao turned an unattractive shade of purple. Sharon's face drained of color, horror-struck and unwilling to believe that she had just pushed her bottom into one of her Lieutenants' hands. Attempting not to burst out laughing, Andy had gone fuchsia, however at seeing the Captain's eyes brimming with tears, he resolved to help her.

"Come on, everybody, these things happen!" Sharon, Tao and Provenza looked at him with disbelief. "It was just a misfortunate cascade of events, okay?" Mike shook his head as Sharon looked utterly bewildered.

Provenza frowned before commenting, "Cut the bullshit, wouldja, Flynn?" Then, turning to Tao and the Captin, he said, "Well, it was weird I guess, but just a coincidence, so we should all just forget about it, alright?"

Mike nodded imperceptibly before saying, "I'm sorry, Captain."

"It's alright, I guess. I'm sorry, too, Lieutenant." Sharon said, attempting to recover from the shock.

"Good. So, since it's alright Captain, Mike and I are just going to resume our conversation, and you two…just go back to whatever you were doing," Provenza said as he shooed them with his hands, walking away from Sharon and Andy. Now completely recovered from the shock and utterly overwhelmed by a new awkwardness, Sharon looked up at Andy and pressed the elevator button again.

"Hey, Sharon? It's okay, come on." She looked at his with an uncertain gaze, and Andy placed his arm around her, shaking her slightly. "Though, after avoiding me all 'cos of what we talked about last night," Andy started as Sharon tilted her head towards him, concerned about what he might say. Andy continued, "I'd never have expected you to allow a subordinate officer – those present excluded – to cup your cheeks," he finished, a wide grin aimed in her direction. Laughing slightly in surprise, Sharon arched her brows as her eyes widened before bursting into laughter. Maybe she shouldn't have laughed, but she couldn't help it – she needed to release the tension that had accumulated throughout the day. Now, she was ready to meet Captain Darcy and go home, and despite the embarrassing incident that had just occurred, she felt as though a burden had been lifted. Once again, this was down to Andy, who knew what she thought and felt – what she needed to hear and what he knew she could bear – and who wanted her the way she was, in spite of being able to see through her. Andy, who was always there for her. As the elevator stopped, Sharon turned to Andy before the doors slid open and, with a sincere smile, said, "I'm so glad to have you, Andy." Then, stepping into the corridor, she walked away, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder, a smile lighting her face and eyes. Andy watched her sashay gently and firmly down the corridor, his heart skipping a beat with each step that she took.


	10. ELEVATION Chapter 10

**ELEVATION**

chapter 10

**by Stands With a Fic – Camima**

**Thanks to everyone! Special thanks to Sirabella for sharing her viewpoint with me! Please Review! I'm writing the last chapter of this fan fic. Come on people Sharon and MC are approaching! :) Heartfelt thanks to my beta ****Cmemlovr**** for her support, suggestions and kind patience :)**

Andy resolved to ask her out on an official date but wanted first to begin properly – he wanted to court her. Of course, this had to be done mostly outside the office. Andy knew she felt something for him, something that went beyond friendship but she wasn't ready to admit them as yet. Nor was she ready to accept him as more than a friend. The courting would therefore start the next morning. Andy couldn't help the feelings of ecstasy rising within him, but was surprised by them as he realized that he was behaving like someone whose feelings were openly reciprocated, which was unfortunately not the case at the moment. Despite that, Andy was elated for numerous reasons, which he mulled over happily as he shaved that morning – the first: he now knew what she felt for him (mostly), second: they felt _good _together, at work and during their spare time, third: (possibly this should have been the first…) he only needed to see her to feel happy, and for the first time in decades he felt the need and joy of caring for another. He was eager to be with her, but not the way he had been with other women – he loved her and wanted to truly show her - he wanted to win her heart. He knew that it would take time, but was prepared to be patient. He wanted her with all his heart. After all that she had been through, she deserved the most romantic, sweet and passionate courting he could manage. A small grin appeared on his lips at the thought.

Sharon was drinking her first coffee of the morning at home when her phone rang. Smiling sincerely as she answered, Sharon said, "Lieutenant Flynn, good morning! What can I do for you?"

"Morning, Captain! Sleep well? Your voice is delightful as always – more so, in fact!" he grinned at her brief, stunned silence.

"Perfectly, thanks, Lieutenant. And…you?"

"Great!"

"Glad to hear it," she paused, waiting for him to continue.

"Have you already had breakfast?"

"Not really, no, I was just having my first coffee actually. Uh, wh-"

"Alright then, I'll pick you up in twenty, okay?" he said flirtatiously.

"Oh…okay," her voice faltered.

Sat in the car, Sharon rolled her eyes at Andy's teasing expression, "Andy, where are we going?!"

"To have breakfast."

"Where, exactly?"

"Trust me," Andy replied, grinning sideways as Sharon shook her head with a small smile, biting her lower lip. Andy turned right onto a sandy track leading to the beach. Then, stopping his car, he pulled the handbrake and unbuckled his seat belt, winking at Sharon's puzzled expression. Opening her door, he offered her his hand with a smile. She regarded him suspiciously, lips pursed and seat belt determinedly _fastened_. Sighing patiently, Andy smiled as he leaned down to unbuckle her seat belt, taking the chance to breathe in her scent – a scent so intoxicating he could smell it even when he was not with her. As he drew up, she watched his movements closely, Andy stopping as his face was level with hers. She straightened suddenly, breathing in and swallowing heavily as she noticed that his eyes lingered on her lips as they parted slightly in surprise. Their eyes met and she looked down, at her own hands interlocked in her lap. Drawing up, Andy offered Sharon his hand again with a tender, reassuring smile. Hesitating, she looked at him, and Andy prodded her, "Come on, Sharon," his voice low, "give me your hand," he continued, "hey – at least it isn't a marriage proposal!" his voice light and teasing. Sharon blushed violently, her eyes widening as she shook her head slightly, lips curving as her eyes narrowed once more.

Pressing her lips together she breathed in and out slowly, "Andy, we have to be at work in-" she checked her watch, "forty minutes, and I don't really think we have time for breakfast here, right now."

Andy sighed slowly, his arms folded as he rolled his eyes slightly, "Sharon, would you just trust me, please?" he breathed. She looked at him, abashed, and he offered her his hand once more, her eyes lingering on it as she dwelled upon what he might be up to. When she put her hand in his, he couldn't help the loving smile that spread across his face, his brown eyes shining. She whirled on her seat, legs sliding out of the door first. Letting go of her hand, Andy knelt upon the sand and took her heels in hand, taking off one shoe and then the other. He looked at Sharon's bare feet, remembering the first time he had noticed them.

He had met her outside apartment 321, barefoot with gun in hand after she had saved Rusty's life. In the heat of the moment, Andy hadn't paid all that much attention. He had called to warn her to wait for back up, but she had ordered him to call SIS and had hung up. For the first time in decades, he had found himself praying for the safety of another. After the operation and heartache were over, his mind had alerted him to the fact that she was barefoot. Escorting her down to her own apartment to retrieve appropriate footwear, he had realized that she was trembling from head to foot, and he had put a hand on her shoulder, gently pressing her down on to her couch. Walking to the hallway, he had returned with her shoes and bent down, placing them gently on each foot. Her eyes had shone with tears, lips trembling.

Sharon looked at his face, so focused on her feet, surprised that she enjoyed his care and attention. He took her shoes and put them in the car under her seat, winking at her as he stood up and offered her his hand. Looking into his eyes in surprise, she said, "Thank you, Andy," her voice silky. Andy smiled at her fondly before clearing his throat and moving to the back of the car, pulling out a picnic basket and blanket from the back seat. Locking his car, he stepped towards Sharon and the beach.

"Sharon, I just want you to relax, have your breakfast and have a pleasant time."

She nodded her head once, a sweet smile on her lips. Reaching for the blanket, she placed it under her left arm, her left hand holding her purse as she looked into Andy's caramel eyes. He carried the basket in his right hand and smiled at her brightly. Seeing this, he couldn't help but think that he had the sweetest smile she had ever seen in a man – it was generous and open, and she loved it. She felt Andy's hand wrap around hers, squeezing gently. She squeezed back, but couldn't bare his gaze, noting the smile that lit her cheeks. Andy pulled her gently and steadily along the sandy track, a slight breeze caressing her legs and face. He stopped by a thick brush that would shelter them from the wind and sun. Taking the blanket from Sharon's hands, he flicked it open before laying it on the sand. Placing the basket at the head of the blanket near the brush, he took Sharon's purse and placed it beside the basket. He offered her a hand as he guided them down to sit on the blanket, and she smiled sincerely at him. He took off his jacket and shoes, and sat beside her on the blanket.

"Oh, Andy, this is so…beautiful," she said as she gazed at the ocean, her voice slightly hushed by the sound of the waves but carried by the breeze. Andy was looking at her, legs outstretched but not completely in the sand, his eyes lingered on the perfect bulges of her silken knees, feet perfectly pointed as they moved in small motions. He eyed her tiny ankles and her calves as they pulsated up and down. She was unconsciously rubbing her outer thighs, smoothing her skirt further upwards with each movement. He regarded her profile closely, admiring her neck and chin, eyeing the protuberance of her lips and the tip of her nose, following it up to its bridge and her glasses – he thought that he could love everything about her, especially her dainty nose. As if she had heard his thoughts, Sharon raised her glasses and placed them atop her head, turning to him with a smile, "So, you promised me-"she began, her voice causing his pulse to rocket upwards, "breakfast, Lieutenant!" her voice high pitched and gleeful.

"Oh, sure," he grinned sincerely. Sharon giggled as she watched him kneel closer to the basket and rubbed her palms quickly. She smiled as he withdrew two pink boxes and a thermos from the basket as if handling fine china, in order to keep her in suspense. She giggled and curled her legs under her, kneeling as she took off her blazer and laid it on her purse before sitting back on her heels beside him. Taking the thermos and pink boxes from him she turned slightly to place them in the middle of the blanket before they both turned to face the ocean. Andy hadn't stopped smiling once, and she realized that she hadn't either. In fact, she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this way - relaxed and happy – in a man's company, and was glad that it was Andy and not just any other man. She shook her head slightly at this realization.

"What?" Andy said in a puzzled voice.

"Oh, nothing." She smiled, her eyes widening under a slight frown. He smiled apologetically, feeling somewhat responsible for her small frown.

"You alright?" he insisted warmly.

"Perfectly!" she countered, "Andy, this is all so sweet of you," her voice a sultry whisper. He colored at the sound of it, and almost missed her next words, "I hadn't ever realized until now how much I've missed – and needed- this." She smiled at him, her brows furrowing as her eyes widened. Andy saw her eyes fill with tears as she let out a quick breath, her lower lip trembling.

"Hey, Sharon… come here," he said as he wrapped his arms around her, her face against his chest as she let him cup her head, consciously breathing him in for the first time.

Pulling away slightly, she looked into his eyes and said, "I'm alright, Andy, I'm just…overwhelmed." Her voice was soft and nasal as it shook slightly and she blinked back her tears. A side, sincere smile lit her face and he cupped her cheeks, wiping her tears away with his thumbs as he pulled her face towards him, kissing her wet and salty cheeks, eyelids and brows.

"You deserve this – nobody deserves to be treated more sweetly than you," Andy said, eyes piercingly searching hers, "and I made this my priority," he added in a warm, low, raspy voice. Then, smiling fondly tenderly stroked her neck, her chin on his shoulder, her cheek and temple against his neck and jaw. She tilted her head and pressed her lips on his jaw. He started disbelievingly - she had kissed him. For the first time, she had kissed him. She had spontaneously kissed him, her lips voluptuous and warm against his skin. He looked into her eyes, so close to his, and saw her jade oceans sparkling with gratitude and fond affection. The sight of her so full of emotion was priceless and he never waned to forget it.

Andy lay down on his side, elbow bent with his fist resting against his cheek as he watched Sharon breathing fully and slowly, a beatific smile upon her lips. Her eyes closed to enjoy the salty air, listening closely to the waves of the ocean. Her hair was slightly curlier than usual and it contrasted with her professional, elegant outfit whilst making her look even prettier, like a goddess, born to harmonize that which contrasts in the world. Sharon was harmony. She opened her eyes and smiled, her shoulders lifting at the sight of him, ignoring anything else around them and watching her as though she was a wonder of nature. She rolled on her right side and sat with her legs curled to the side facing him, passing her tongue on her lower lip as she parted her lips to speak.

"We took a day off, Sharon," Andy answered in anticipation of Sharon's unasked question, "I called Provenza and told him," he finished, only his lips and eyes moving as he spoke.

"You what?" she asked, bewildered, "Do you mean that you told Provenza that you – and I – took the day off…together?"

"Well…"

"Alright," said Sharon as she stood up looking horrorstruck and clearly upset.

Andy knelt and looked up into Sharon's eyes, "Sharon! Where are you going?" his palms flew up and his brow furrowed.

"Is this what you meant when you asked me to trust you?" her voice raised but remained within her professional façade, "Telling my subordinate officers that you and I took the day off?!"

"Sharon – relax!"

"Too late – I can't! Don't you realize how suspicious this sounds? You called Provenza on my behalf – without asking me, no less! What were you thinking, Andy?!" Andy shook his head and huffed slightly as she continued, "and..." she raised her voice in panic now, "you told me to trust you! Knowing perfectly that I wouldn't accept the way that you-" she flicked her hands outwards before returning them to her hips. Then, turning to collect her purse and blazer she finished her thought, "set up this breakfast!" She turned to look at him with a hurt expression in her eyes, "how could you do that to me? Don't you know me at all, Andy? You've put me in a very difficult position!" She turned and strode away hurriedly.

Andy stood up to stop her, "Hey! Hey! Don't you think you should just let me explain? Huh?" he shouted as he followed her. Reaching for her elbow, he spun her around to face him.

"Fine, I'm all ears, _Lieutenant_," she spat as she flung her hand away from her.

"Sharon," he breathed, looking heavenwards, "I called Provenza and told him that I would take this day off to fix some things with my children," Andy held a hand up as he paused to prevent Sharon from speaking, "which is absolutely true since I'm seeing my daughter for lunch today and, okay…I told him that I'd already informed you." He gazed into Sharon's eyes and saw that she had begun to relax somewhat whilst still expecting more plausible reasons for _her _day off. "Chief Taylor was informed by me – alright, yes, on your behalf – yesterday-"

"What?!" Sharon choked.

"That you probably wouldn't be at work today – of course, you would be available if necessary – and he couldn't care in the least, I mean, y'know-"

Sharon breathed in deeply, her eyes widening as she hissed, "How dare you-" she turned and strode away once more.

"Sharon! Wait, come on! You're behaving as though I've murdered someone! Okay, I know I shouldn't have-"

"Exactly!" she turned away from him, "You shouldn't have!"

"Sharon – okay! I'll never do it again!"

"You can bet on that, Lieutenant! Do you know what I should do now? I should report your behavior to Chief Taylor but, to protect you – to cover up your stupid little lie – I now have to lie myself!"

"Okay, Sharon, alright. I'm so, so sorry – I mean it – but look, don't you think you're overreacting a little? I was an innocent lie…"

"There's no such thing as an innocent lie, Andy! How could you? After all these years, you should know by now-" she dropped her voice as she looked down into the sand with a shake of her head. Andy realized what she meant – she felt betrayed.

Andy berated himself internally, but tried to rectify the situation, "Sharon, I am completely aware that I shouldn't have, but please believe me _it will never happen again. _I just-" She could hear the mortification in his voice and she couldn't' help feeling sorry for him.

"What, Andy?" she asked in a milder tone as he shook his head.

"I just wanted to surprise you – to make you feel loved and to see you laughing and relaxing; forgetting everything just for a little while. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, Andy. I know you did it with the best of intentions, but that doesn't justify your lie. I need to trust you completely or…" she shook her head sadly, looking upwards.

"Or what, Sharon?"

"Or I can't do this…" her voice shook.

"Okay, okay," he said in a low, rough voice, "just let me collect my things and I'll drop you off at home – you can take your car and go to work." He pursed his lips wearily.

"Thank you," smiling slightly for his benefit as she said it, but upset that she had hurt him. She too was hurt that he was so withdrawn that he wouldn't as much as look at her. Maybe she had overreacted. After all, she had accepted and forgiven far worse from Jack. She may have been too hard on Andy, but she knew that he would understand and behave honestly from now on.

On the way to the condo, they both remained silent. It wasn't an awkward silence, but one laden with awareness of the other. Andy was still shocked at the realization that he had behaved in exactly the worst way to show how much he cared for her. Her words pierced him like a bullet, leaving him physically unable to respond whilst feeling the full gravity of the situation. Sharon didn't dare speak because she had meant what she'd said, but she couldn't deny that she had overreacted – hurting him and burdening him once again. Andy's phone rang and he answered as he drove.

"Hey honey, you alright?" Sharon turned her head to look at him.

"Oh, okay, no problem sweetie. How high? – Right – love you." Andy hung up with a sigh, pouting somewhat.

"Is everything alright?" Sharon asked, unable to help herself.

"Mostly. It's just that Nicole's kids are ill, so no lunch together today."

"I'm sorry, Andy." He nodded his head tiredly.

"It's okay, we'll just reschedule." He forced a smile.

"You look so dim…" Sharon said, hoping there was time to say more now that they were almost at the condo.

"Well, I was just wondering if – how- I could fix things," Andy paused, cutting the ignition as he turned to Sharon, his left hand still on the wheel and his right on the hand break, "with you."

Sharon smiled somewhat bitterly, Andy still not daring to look at her after their discussion earlier.

"Well, Andy," she said, voice as soft as a mother's after a harsh scolding, "you know, I've taken the day off," she put her hand on his and he looked up at her abashed, a glimmer of hope entering his eyes, "and, I'm free," she shrugged, giggling at the expression of elation on Andy's face.

"Oh! Look at my hair!" Sharon giggled as she looked at her reflection in the mirror of her living room.

"I like your hair," countered Andy, and she scanned his expression to determine whether or not he was serious.

"I really need a shower and a good shampoo – I can feel the salt stuck all over me!"

"Good – I've never had a sweet-tooth," replied Andy flirtatiously, his sideways grin back in place. She glanced at him as he approached, smiling as she shook her head in amusement and placed her purse on the coffee table. Looking up, she saw him in the mirror behind her, gazing into the reflection of her eyes, "but you know what? Salt is no good for my high blood pressure." He grinned as she bit her lips in surprise and, perhaps, even slightly disappointed that he had given up so quickly. "Though, I'd bet you taste so sweet," he whispered in her ear, hot breath against her earlobe and neck.

"Oh…" she tilted her head slightly, looking away from the Andy in-the-mirror to look at the real Andy's lips and grin, "then it's a real shame since I'm pretty sure I just heard you say that you're not a sweet-tooth," her voice low and sultry with a hint of challenge. Then, stepping aside she invited him to make himself at home, turning to look at him for an instant before she headed to her bathroom. She stopped, her teasing smile fading at his gaze.

"Hey...are you challenging me?" Andy asked, grinning as his eyes darkened.

"What?" she breathed as he approached her. She backed up slowly, her eyes widening as he followed her. "Andy," she said melodically, "Andy, what are you staring at me that way?" a trill entering her voice as she fixed him with a suspicious stare.

"I'll show you," he said in a raspy, throaty voice.

"Andy, don't!" She pointed at the ground with a forefinger, attempting to stop him in his tracks, but it was too late – Andy had already taken two steps forward, backing Sharon into the corridor as both began to move more quickly. Her giggle and half-scream declared the open chase. Sharon turned and tip-toed around the coffee table, stopping in front of the balcony window and turning to him, "Andy, don't move!" her voice trilled in an excited pitch that sounded more like an invitation to continue. He continued to approach her slowly as if trying to catch a butterfly, holding his breath and heartbeats. Sharon quickly took off her shoes ready to run properly now.

"That's a good start," he grinned "what comes next, your skirt? Can I help you?" He stopped completely, palms up in a gesture of innocence.

"Andy," her voice took on a metallic and scolding tone, eyes wide and jaw slack.

"Okay, okay," he threw his arms outwards, "have your shower – even get dressed if you like," he grinned, brows arching at her muffled giggles filling the room. She composed herself by shaking her head as she walked around the coffee table and couch, glancing at him.

"If you really want to help me," she said in a sultry voice, "I'll let you take off my…glasses."

Andy's lips pursed in amusement and he put on a display of mock-excitement, "Really?!" he raised his eyebrows childishly. She walked past him, giggling as she did. Andy stepped forward, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to turn and look at him, stunned. Andy stepped out and pulled Sharon closer, lifting his hands gently to her face and removing her glasses with care, "Nothing you don't want me to do, trust me," he smiled, moving aside as he gazed into her eyes. Sharon searched his eyes, her own an intense and narrowed gaze for an instant. Then, her lips curved ever so slightly and she nodded her head.

Sharon appeared on the balcony barefoot, wearing a tight, above the knee dress. Her hair was tidy in soft waves again. No earrings - no other jewelry - and no watch or glasses. She wore the barest hint of make-up. Andy smiled as his eyes met hers and he pulled out the chair for her. Whispering, "Sharon, you look fabulous in that dress," as she sat, Sharon couldn't help the blush that rose in her cheeks, and she turned to offer him a smile. Laying the napkin in her lap, she waited for him to follow suit before serving herself.

"Mmm, oh, Andy, this is delicious!"

"Turnip tops Orecchiette for starters, followed by a Caprese salad and Tiramisu for dessert."

"Oh Andy, you're spoiling me too much – what if I get used to it?"

"I'm just appreciating you. And, Sharon? You could never get spoiled – you wouldn't allow yourself," he smiled.

She giggled attractively.

"Oh my God, Andy, I'm going to put on weight – I'll have to swim fifty laps tomorrow!"

"What?! You like swimming?" How could he have missed this? He had studied the pictures on her wall relating to ballet, and knew that she and her daughter loved it – so much so that her daughter was a dancer with the American Ballet. He had noticed some statues that seemed to mimic gymnastics positions (his daughter had practiced it for a few years when she was young), but nothing to do with swimming.

"So, is swimming your sport?"

"I love swimming, sometimes I go jogging, but swimming is my regular activity. That, and Pilates." She smiled at his surprised expression.

"So, after work and everything you still find time to-" he flicked his hand outwards in a gesture of elaboration as he leaned back into his chair.

"It's necessary, Andy. It's not a burden – if it were, I wouldn't do it." He looked at her, stunned, and she giggled.

"Wow. I really admire you." She shrugged with a smile, and he continued, "well, not only for this, I mean, I always admire you. Even now…"

"Now?" she asked with a curious and puzzled expression.

"Yeah, I mean, the way you sit," he gestured towards her current position, "you sit so elegantly, and the way you hold your fork and serve yourself with Tiramisu…there is always something so deeply elegant and classy about you – even when you blush or look awkward, there is elegance in your very nature." Andy saw her blushing and smile widely, sincerely appreciating his compliments.

She said softly "and do you know why I admire you?" He was taken aback and shook his head in surprise, shocked that she admired him too. "Well," she said sultrily, "I admire you because you haven't had a drink in eighteen years." The fact that she had been keeping count warmed his heart. "And because you are dealing," she smiled at _her _word, "with your family to be there for your children. I admire your generosity and genuineness, your loyalty, humility and strength. I admire the fact that you can recognize your mistakes and apologize- I admire the sympathy you feel for others, your humanity...I'm just so glad to have you Andy." She reached for his hand on the table and squeezed it. He was looking at her, still wondering what he had done in his life to deserve her friendship and admiration, "and of course I admire your cooking abilities," she said, putting her hands on her stomach. Andy smiled sincerely, stood up and took her hands in his pulling her up gently. Sharon stood and let him lead her inside, surprised and amused. Andy made her sit on the couch, then went to her stereo and picked up one of her CDs. As _That's What Friends Are_ _For_ started to fill the air, Andy walked over her and offered her his hands, an invitation to dance. Sharon smiled tenderly in wonder, her eyes narrowing in emotion as she put her hands in his and he slid his arms down to her elbows, pulling her up towards him and leading them to the open space by the couch. He put his left hand on the small of her back as she placed her hand on his bicep, her left hand ensconced in his right hand. She smiled at him and he kissed her hairline, thinking that although he might love her in heels and pumps, he somehow preferred her barefoot. Something about her feet and legs was so elegant and sexy. She wasn't short, and her beauty and grace made her larger-than-life in his eyes, but compared to him she was tiny without her heels on. Her hairline was level with his lips, and it made him ever more willing to protect and serve her. Sharon lifted her eyes as he pulled away to look into her eyes and began singing softly. As the song ended, he looped his arm around her back, dipping her and pulling her up again and spinning her at the sound of her giggle. She bumped into him, her hands landing where his shoulders met his neck, and pressed her forehead against his lips feeling his smile turn into a kiss in the silence around them. She pulled away slightly and their eyes met again, simply enjoying the pleasantness of the moment. _The Look of Love _suddenly filled the air and Andy felt her stiffen in his arms and become awkward as she pulled away from him, hands curling up. She stepped aside and rushed to the stereo, restoring a much safer silence. Andy pursed his lips and she walked by, heading to the balcony where she started clearing the table. He followed her slowly and leaned his side against the French door, watching her move frantically. He smiled and shook his head, his hands in his pants pockets. He walked over her and silently helped to clear the table, glancing at her once every while as she did the same each time she felt his gaze. Their eyes met; his smiling, hers awkward, though quick to return to his smiling gaze. Sharon carried the dishes, glasses and cutlery to the kitchen as he followed her, carrying the salad bowl, its dressing and orange juice. As they put the tableware in the dishwasher, Andy suggested "How about a stroll?"

Sharon tilted her head to him but looked aside for a moment to consider the pros and cons, "on the shore," she breathed her eyes wide.

"On the shore," Andy agreed, nodding his head once as he smiled at her and tucked a strand of her hair behind her delicate ear.

"Sharon, you really look fabulous in that dress." Sharon smiled shyly, shaking her head. "Every man's turning his head to have a look, if you hadn't noticed!" Andy exclaimed, his voice rising due to his admiration of Sharon and his irritation at the lingering stares of others on her shape. In fact, she hadn't noticed, or maybe she had but didn't care, because she only cared what Andy thought of her. She was wearing a slouch straw hat in a pure Katharine Hepburn style; she swayed gently on the sand her pumps in hand. Andy was in his relaxed style, the top buttons of his shirt unfastened, sleeves curled up. His jacket and tie locked up in his trunk together with Sharon purse, at the security-monitored parking lot near the beach.

"After all we've eaten today and with tiramisu still in my fridge?' she countered, stunned.

"Sixty laps tomorrow!" he grinned. "Alright I know, not healthy," he turned to stare at the stand and she shook her head, smiling.

"Hey Lady!" a younger man approached Sharon and checked her out, wolf-whistling at her. "I've never noticed you around - I would certainly remember you," Sharon was taken aback as she realized the man was talking to her, "What's your name? You're the shy classy kind aren't you? I really like that." The man continued walking around her, checking out her figure, lingering on her curves and legs.

"Hey, hey this lady is with me, idiot, and she is not shy but rather too classy to talk to you, dirt bag."

"Hey who are you? Her buddy?"

"What? Listen carefully, _buddy_, it's none of your damn business. Now, you'd better run along and leave her alone," Andy hissed.

"Andy, it's alright."

"Sharon, it's not alright."

"Sharon. Okay, so your name is Sharon. Tell me, Sharon, is Andy your husband, fiancé, _body guard_? I offer myself as your body guard, y'know just in case. I'm on the Police Force, you know."

"Oh really?" Andy grimaced, "so that's something you and _Sharon_," Andy said her name sarcastically, "have in common. Maybe you also know Sharon as Captain Raydor, Head of the Major Crimes Division? Who is currently, by the way, in the middle of an undercover operation here."

The young man visibly paled, "I am terribly sorry, Captain," he choked and turned to her, saluting.

"I believe you are. Please ID yourself," Sharon smiled, raising her brows.

"Patrol Officer Patrick Lumsey, Captain."

"Thank you, so, Officer Lumsey, I now expect you to apologize to Lieutenant Flynn and to leave us alone, certain you will behave in a manner befitting your title from now on." She assumed a position similar to that of Wonder Woman, her hands planted firmly at her waist. The man apologized and rushed away. "Andy, why did you say we were undercover officers?" she sounded a little bothered.

"Because it's true, you prefer not to be seen in my company outside the Department." his bluntness sounded shocking to her. "We're both officers and we don't want to be discovered since I... lied about the reasons why we both took this day off," Andy continued in a matter-of-fact tone, "so I guess we can call this an undercover operation," he smiled at her, adding, "and from tomorrow, I promise, no more lies."

Sharon smiled bitterly, feeling sorry for Andy, "It's not that I don't want to be seen with you Andy," she looked at him in a sad frown, "I just want to avoid rumors about our friendship, but I'm not ashamed of us as friends," she said as she swatted his arm.

"Sharon, I know -don't worry, it's alright, okay?" He lifted her chin with his fingertips forcing her to look into his eyes, "It's alright because I'm happy to have you."

He smiled sincerely and she nodded her head once, smiling back.


	11. SUNSET Chapter 11

**SUNSET**

chapter 11

**by Stands With a Fic-Camima**

**Thanks everyone! Thanks to my treasure and beta CmemLovr! Maybe M-rated...not completely sure...**

As the sun continued to set, Andy and Sharon reached an isolated spot, close to where the beach became almost like a desert. Sitting on the sand facing the ocean, Andy intertwined his fingers over his bent knees. Watching Sharon walk over to him, he admired her auburn hair as it took on a reddish-golden tint in the dying sun's rays, her white skin shining just as brightly. She was smiling at him, hat in hand, and stopped before him as his mesmerized gaze became almost solid as his eyes travelled up her long legs to her shining eyes. She allowed her hat to fall to the floor, kneeling in front of him and placing her palms on his hands. He smiled, stretching his legs out and turning his hands so that his palms faced upwards, holding her hands and pulling her slightly towards him. Leaning into Andy as she sat on her heels, Sharon heard Andy ask, "You can't stop smiling today, can you?" with a sincere smile.

Sharon raised her brows as her eyes and smile widened, "I feel so good – so carefree," she said, her voice a soft giggle, "I guess I just can't stop. But I could say the same of you," she smiled as Andy nodded, looking at their intertwined hands.

He returned his eyes to hers, sincerely replying in a voice that shook with emotion, "To see you smiling and relaxed makes me happy – I couldn't ask for anything better." He looked up at her and found reflected in her eyes something he had never seen before. Sharon was looking him in the eye now and she was not awkward or uneasy, blushing or paralyzed with unbidden emotions, but expectant – demanding – as she sat before him, leaning towards him willingly. Clearing his throat, Andy let go of her hands and Sharon took off her glasses, placing them carefully atop her hat. Andy watched as Sharon leaned closer to him as she stood up, turned to the ocean and stepped into the waves that caressed the shore.

She stepped further in to allow the waves to wash away the sand from her legs. Then she returned to where the waves merely caressed her feet, legs shining wet white and tinged with coral by the light. Andy watched her draw circles with her pointed toes in the water. He then saw her entering the ocean again to touch the water with the fingers of one hand whilst pulling up her skirt slightly with the other. Andy saw Sharon turn to him and gazed into his eyes intensely before turning again to look at the sunset.

She heard the water splashing behind her and turned to find Andy before her, his eyes laden with demanding need. He cupped her cheek, searching her eyes for approval and reading endearing eagerness in its place. He filled the tiny space between them and felt her warm breath against his lips. Placing his free hand softly on her hip, he slid it upwards and around her waist. Sharon felt him quivering and swallowed hard as his eyes drew closer as his head tilted slightly. She let out a soft breath as she watched him approach and felt his lips softly graze hers, as if allowing her to familiarize herself to their first kiss whilst tasting and enjoying her lips for the first time. Parting his lips slowly and placing his lower lips between hers, Andy felt Sharon's lips part against his, her green eyes sliding slowly shut. He felt heady as his blood rushed to his groin. Taking her lower lip between his, Andy pulled away slightly to look into her eyes, their lips still touching. She wanted him to continue. He cupped her jaw and nape, his thumb brushing her temple as he wrapped his arm around her back, hand between her shoulder blades and forearm pressed against her spine as he pulled her closer into his embrace, her arms wrapped entirely around his back. With parted lips, she felt him tenderly entering her mouth as he felt her all around him. She tasted sweet and warm. He felt her body shift against his, completely carefree as her breasts pressed into his chest and her hips melded with his. They pulled apart, breathing hard and quick breaths, reading from each other's expressions that _enough _had long been surpassed. He pulled her toward the shore and himself gently, returning to her lips to begin a new assault of nibbles and kisses. He knelt down and pulled her with him. She tumbled gently onto him, their bodies and clothes soaking wet in the lapping waves, their legs intertwining. Andy pinned her hips, roaming her waist and the small of her back with his hands as Sharon cupped his cheeks and ran her fingers through his hair.

After returning from the beach, Andy sat on his couch, legs slightly bent and spread, his head leaning on a cushion against the armrest, spooning Sharon as she lay slightly on her side, her bottom against his inner thigh and groin. Andy arms were wrapped around her as she rested her head against his chest, his lips and chin firmly planted on her forehead.

She sighed as she looked up at him, "Andy, we need to talk about what happened," she said, frowning.

"Fine," he said knowingly, seeing the regret in her face and priming himself to deal with it. Andy Let her go and sat up to face her as she sat on her heels opposite him.

"That can't happen again."

"Sharon," he rolled his eyes.

"No, Andy, it was a terrible mistake!"

"A mistake? Sharon, you wanted me to kiss you as much as I wanted to kiss you!" Andy's voice rose out of irritation rather than anger, "Listen, Sharon, I know you're scared now and I know you think we've done something awful, but we didn't," he lowered his voice before continuing, "It wasn't just passion or lust, Sharon. I love you, and you've finally realized that you like me as more than a friend. We love each other's company, and we did what felt right because, whatever you do or say, things can never be the same again." He looked her in the eye and she nodded as he continued, "Nothing changed because we kissed, Sharon. They changed in spite of our best efforts." Sharon had been listening with rapt attention but couldn't bring herself to agree with him.

"I'm your Captain and you are my Lieutenant, Andy. And this -" she said, motioning towards herself and Andy, "is against the rules."

"It's not," Andy countered as she watched him with wide eyes and a frown. "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but while it might be technically politically incorrect, it is acceptable to the Department so long as we declare our relationship to our direct superiors."

"I am your direct superior, Andy! I'm responsible for you too and would have to report my relationship to my direct superior, Commander Taylor."

"Okay, but Sharon, there's only two options here that completely abide by the rules: the first, we interrupt our relationship," Andy's voice shook as he said it, the mere thought causing him distress, "or we can report it to Taylor."

"Andy, I know, but I can't report it! He would just order me to break up with you anyway and I'd be removed from the department in the blink of an eye and… at my age that's basically retirement and I'm not ready for that yet, Andy! I love my job!"

"Ok, I understand – I love my job too – but you can't tell me that it's all over; that we'll never see each other outside of work!"

"Maybe we could," she shook her head.

"No, Sharon, we wouldn't. It's too late – the feelings we have for each other and the desire that goes beyond friendship – we couldn't handle it."

"Yeah," she breathed.

"Technically, though," he continued, "even if you don't want to see me again, we've kissed – repeatedly, in fact – so, y'know, you should report it to Taylor anyway," he said, pursing his lips with arched brows.

"You're absolutely right," she breathed, "Andy, what am I going to do now?" she frowned.

"Sharon, come here," he shook his head and caressed her cheeks and hair as he admired the sight of her in his t-shirt, eyes drooping and unable to find a solution to the new situation.

"Andy, I'm really sorry, I should've never let it happen." She stood up and strode into Andy's bathroom.

Following her, Andy replied, "Sharon, it's not your fault – I'm not a kid."

"I know!" her voice rose as she turned to face him, "and neither am I!" her voice broke as she continued, "I wanted it – I wanted you to kiss me and I feel awful now! 'Cause I'm going to break your heart if I tell you it's over!" She hesitated, unsure of using that term for a relationship that had possibly not yet begun.

"For once, Sharon, I want you to think about what _you _want!" Andy shouted. He wasn't willing to let her go so easily now that he knew that she wanted him back – but he also knew that she still had to understand it herself.

"I wish I could stop – that I didn't want you!" Andy froze and Sharon's haw slackened at her own words.

"So…you do want me?" She nodded silently and he continued, "and that's why you're panicking and saying that you don't want me? What will we do every time we have to work together? That is every hour of – basically- every day. Sharon – we can't go back." She released a long breath and clenched the shirt on his chest, "So we might as well go on," he whispered as his arms slid around her, rubbing her back. "Sharon, give us a chance - we're both grown-ups and we can handle this, we just need some time to get used to it. _We _report it to Taylor – don't think for a second that I'll let you do it alone. Just let's take it one step at the time, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered.

"Good. Hey, I've made mistakes that I won't repeat again," he said, shaking his head with a grin, "but kissing you was one of the best, _sweetest _things I've ever done, and if I could go back, I would do it the same way every time," his voice deepened to a raspy whisper as he paused, gazing into her eyes, and tugged her into a sudden embrace, kissing her tenderly – passionately – senseless. He pulled away from her, smiling at her hopeful expression and instantly fulfilled her silent request. Taking her hand from his chest, he led them back to the couch, lying down on his side as he pulled her down with him. She sat with a smile and curled up her legs before stretching out on her back next to Andy. Moving above her, Sharon spread her legs to allow Andy to lie comfortably between them as his legs slid under her calves and ankles, causing her to blush. Andy arched his back slightly, sliding a forearm under Sharon's right arm, his other hand caressing her hair and cheek as he gazed at her fondly, rubbing the tip of his nose against hers before covering her face with soft, fluttering kisses. "You seem to like this," Andy grinned as Sharon hummed with a smile, "So, let's see what else you might like," he continued, his voice low and gaze piercing.

Andy directed his attention to her jaw, smelling her skin as he kissed the column of her neck. He took her lobe between his lips before pulling away, nosing it and kissing behind her ear, brushing her skin. He stopped, causing Sharon to let out a tiny, soft moan. He looked up and saw her eyes return to him again as he stilled, happy to stop and admire her. She saw tenderness and awe in his eyes and she felt her cheeks heat, unused to the gentleness of his gaze and being the cause of such strong emotions. She admitted she was scared and didn't know where they were headed but at the same time, she didn't want to push him away – to cut him out of her life – just because of their professional relationship. She loved to be with him and she wanted him to be with her. Smiling back at him, Andy noticed her slight awkwardness and felt relief. "Andy," she said softly.

"Yeah?" he breathed, mesmerized. His eyes lingered on her shy smile and he returned it, "Oh Sharon, you're so beautiful – I can't take my eyes off of you." She smiled and shook her head, and his smile widened softly as he continued, "You'd better get used to it and," he raised a brow as he grinned, "to many," he stroked her nose with his, "other things," he whispered as he kissed the bridge of her nose. Sharon took a soft quick breath and swallowed at the look in Andy's eyes. She knew he wanted her_ now_ but also knew that he would wait for her in his passion and care for her. His kisses had been breathy and senseless and tender and careful all at once. She had felt his body against hers on the shore, and now on his couch, but she had noticed that his hands had never roamed farther than was appropriate. Realizing that he was controlling himself because he knew it was too early, she was glad that he was hers – that he was so sensitive to her needs. Andy rolled on his side and pulled her shoulder to make her turn on her side and look at him. Then, he placed a leg under Sharon's and flipped them so that she was on top of him, lying on her side with her legs between his. Andy put his arms around her, looking into her eyes as he caressed her hair. She could feel his heart beat and considered its significance – the fact that she was lying atop his heart and that it shouldn't feel as good as it felt. How was she supposed to handle it? She looked at him again to remind herself that he was really there and that it was his body she was touching. That it was his breath that hung in the air between them and his dark, sweet eyes that gazed at her intensely, yet in a dignified and homely manner. She loved his smile - he was so handsome when smiling, the light shining through his smiling eyes was so warm and full of life. He was rough, direct and yet so tender and caring with her. Hot-tempered and impulsive, he was always so controlled and patient with her. Was it a mistake, allowing him to be with her? Was she selfish for enjoying his company and for wanting him regardless of the consequences? Was she being irresponsible? Was she changing? Or was she simply adapting to the inevitability of what had now happened between them? Was she really ready for a relationship? She only knew that she didn't want to lose him and it was too late to be just good friends.

It was pitch black outside when Sharon woke up. Panicking, she opened her eyes to wake herself from her dream. She looked at Andy sleeping next to her and her heart sank. Sitting up slowly, she decided that she couldn't stay a moment longer. In darkness, she was choking on her own guilt, unable to believe what she had done after she had fallen and torn herself apart before. She had promised herself that nothing and nobody, no man would have been the center of her life again. After having (finally) regained control of her life, she had fallen again. Standing up, she was desperate to leave – to feel the chilly night air on her skin as she ran, as she screamed. She dressed up quickly and silently, startled by every move that Andy made - at every change in his breathing. She quickly folded his t-shirt and pants and dropped them on a chair, her hand lingering on the spot that his heart would beat under as she did. She knew he would be shocked and probably mad and she told herself she would talk to him to explain, but not now. Now she had to leave immediately – to be alone and identify what she really felt, to find the strength to be strong enough for them both in order to be efficient and professional again without sharing this _intimacy. _It was crazy, she knew, things would never be the same again but she hoped that time would absolve her. Time...how could she possibly trust herself and time? Time had helped her to heal her wounds only to thrust her feelings for Andy unto her. Time had helped her to find her balance to be an independent woman and now she found herself shoved back into experiencing these overwhelmingly complicated feelings. It hurt - her healed wounds still left scars and they ached, leaving her feeling worse than she could have ever thought. She'd thought that she had control of herself – that she had her principles and rules to keep her safe and kind because they were an integral part of her. But now, she had no idea who she was or where she was going. She took a deep breath and let it out as silently as her sobbing would allow. She looked at Andy and felt lost. He didn't deserve that. Miserable, she angled her chin downwards as she wept – crying as though she would never stop, her body wracked by sobs. She muffled a squeak as she wiped her eyes but couldn't control her body anymore. Squatting, she dropped to the floor as if the strength of her legs had failed her, her face in her hands.

She searched the floor desperately for her shoes, remembering that Andy had taken them off for her as they'd laughed. On their way to his car and back to his apartment, everybody they'd met had looked at them, some amused, others puzzled and some smiling at the sight of their laughter, Sharon barely able to walk straight as she clenched his arm. Admittedly, it was rather unusual to see a middle-aged couple, soaked from head to toe and wandering the streets.

They had entered his apartment - Sharon still trying (and failing) to control her giggles while Andy could not take his eyes off of her. His smile of wonder successfully stalled her giggles as she felt his intense gaze, realizing that she was the cause of his captivating smile and feeling her heart skip a beat at the sight of him approaching.

"You're so beautiful." His voice was low and raspy as he struggled with the emotions that arose. Andy had reached for a strand of Sharon's wet hair and entwined his fingers in it softly. She shivered (or quivered she wasn't sure) as Andy led her to his couch, sat her down and unfolded the blanket on the armrest to wrap her in. He knelt down and took off her shoes, looking up at her again with disbelief as his gaze lingered on her eyes. Sharon watched Andy's careful motions, noticing with amazement that he always attended to her with admiration.

She suddenly felt awkward and lost again and couldn't bear it. His devotion was too much and made their kisses feel even worse. Upset with the realization that she could not allow herself to feel anything for him – much less want him – their kisses and intimacy felt almost like a burden now. She reached the couch and searched the floor for her shoes, her eyes constantly watching the white spot of Andy's shirt to monitor his sleep. She picked them up and stood, touching the coffee table to retrieve her purse before rushing to the door. She couldn't help turning to watch him, a feeling of heaviness pressing against her chest. Shaking her head, she sighed and returned to the couch, pulling the blanket over him softly and tucking him in. She stopped her hand, just in time, from caressing his cheek and running fingers through his hair. Closing her eyes and swallowing, she felt her heart sink to her stomach as she apologized to Andy internally, having had experience of this herself and thus unable to believe that she, of all people, would do this to him. Tip-toeing to the door, Sharon turned to look at Andy and froze.

"Sharon, it's the dead of night. I can't let you leave, please just let me drive you home." His voice rough but free from sleep, it was laden with the bitter awareness that she had decided to leave.

"I just- I can't, Andy." She murmured desperately.

He didn't stand up or even move, almost as though he knew it would be better to remain distant – to start getting used to it. Sharon couldn't feel relief however, only guilt and heartache. "Sharon, just let me drive you home and I'll leave. If that's what you want, I'll leave you alone," said, his voice bitter and weary, alarming her.

"Andy," she surprised herself by approaching him, "I can't let you drive me home."

"I won't let you leave here to look for a cab. Let me drive you home," he insisted, his voice steady.

"Andy, please," her voice shook and he released a deep breath, threading his fingers through his hair.

"Sharon, you can have my bed – I'll take the couch if you-"

"Please, Andy, don't be so good to me – so patient and caring – don't be so loving! I can't stand it and I don't deserve it!" she shouted as she poured her heart out.

"Sharon," he fought not to reach out and grab her, "you can tell me not to look for you – not to search for, hold nor kiss you, not to drive you home or talk to you, but you can never tell me to stop loving you." He cursed the darkness that prevented him from finding her eyes.

"Andy, please." Sharon felt his words stirring the emotions within her and choking her, and she was grateful for the dark that shielded her eyes from his, knowing exactly how to match the tone of his voice with the earnestness of his gaze as she felt her heart break.

"What? You want me to be quiet now? Because it's better to leave things unsaid so that nothing'll happen, right? Just to erase and rewind like nothing has happened? It doesn't work like that, Sharon." Andy's voice was embittered by his frustration though still compassionate in spite of it all.

"What do you expect me to do?! Andy, I-I just can't…"

"D'you really want to know what I expect from you, Sharon? Would it make any difference to know what I would like? No, it wouldn't, and we both know that well enough." Sharon admitted to herself that he was right. "Ok, now, just let me change my clothes and I'll be right back." Andy said, heading to his bedroom.

Andy kept his eyes on the road in a firm frown while Sharon looked out of the window, glancing at him sometimes. She didn't dare to speak - what could she say to ease the bitterness and disillusionment that she had caused? She could only make it worse. Andy stopped in front of the condo but he didn't pull over nor did he stall the engine. Not because he was unwilling to part with Sharon, but because he thought that if he had opened the door for her and walked her home she would have probably felt far worse.

"Andy," she said, and he turned to look at her with an almost desperate hope as he noticed her hands clenched together, "before – at your apartment – I wasn't sneaking out…"

He closed his eyes and allowed himself a brief smile, "I know."

Sharon couldn't get out. She just couldn't leave him alone and she didn't want to be alone anymore. It was three in the morning on a Saturday and she wouldn't sleep. He wouldn't sleep. She would be thinking of him as he would be thinking of her. They wouldn't have their work to distract them from thoughts of each other and they wouldn't see each other for two days. Was it better or worse? What was right and what was wrong? Never had she experienced such overwhelming, contrasting emotions that prevented her from reaching a decision. She couldn't say _Goodnight _becausethere was nothing good about that night and she knew that this was going to be an uneasy night. She no longer had caring for her children as an excuse, nor did she have Rusty. For the first time in ages she felt _lonely_. All her panic had disappeared, leaving her numb with loneliness. She looked at Andy, her eyes narrowing under a frown as she battled internally with herself, wanting him to stay for the night just to ease her pain. Andy's expectant gaze told her that he hadn't figured out what she wanted by reading her as he usually did, and she shook her head angrily, knowing that she couldn't ask him to stay. She heard the car engine stop. Andy pulled up, unbuckled, and got out of the car. She saw him walking around the car before he opened her door. Effectively, he was throwing her out, and she felt her heart sink. With the door open beside her, Sharon unbuckled her seatbelt in a daze and got out, unable to look him in the eye and staring at the ground instead. She stepped aside as Andy closed the car door, pressing against it. He turned and their eyes met, lingering for a moment.

"Do you really want me to leave?" he asked, causing her eyes to widen as Andy approached her, caging her in against the side of the car. Sharon's gaze opened up to him, and Andy continued, "Tell me you really want me to go," his voice was rough and desperate as his body and face drew closer to hers as he talked, never once looking away from her eyes, "Tell me," he continued, "that you don't want me to kiss you and I won't." He whispered against her lips, eyes glancing at them as his breath came out in hard puffs but fell softly against them.

"Oh, Andy..." she breathed softly, shaking her head, "Please." Andy closed his eyes and started pulling away, tilting his head downwards, "don't go – stay," she whispered, choking.

Andy's head jolted upwards, stunned. After a leaden moment, he pushed his body against hers, crushing her against his car as his arms wrapped around her shoulders and held her tight, and his parted lips covering hers.


End file.
